here comes the sad part

So I'm post-call on Oct 31st, sitting in morning report, trying to pay attention but getting paged like a ridiculous number of times from various ancillary staff. (This isn't supposed to happen in our program, which protects our learning time but occasionally, people forget).

Then. I get a page... to my home phone in California. I had taught my parents and sister how to use the hospital paging system during my last vacation because I knew my grandfather was really sick and wasn't going to live long. I knew and I didn't know at the same time. My heart started racing and my hands were shaking as I tried to inconspicuously make my way out of the room again. My mom picked up and told me that my grandfather had passed away the night before. Peacefully. and with his wife and children by his side, at home. It's the best way to go, really. I'm comforted that he didn't suffer that much, but was still shocked at how quickly it had all happened. He was diagnosed with metastatic urothelial cancer (transitional cell) back in July after having blood in his urine for a while. He failed the chemotherapy and it was all downhill from there.

It's taken me a while to write this because I have mixed feelings about my grandfather. That side of the family started out estranged from my life for a long time because of unmentionable past wrongs. But slowly with time and a lot of forgiving, my mom, my sister, and I have lately been seeing them more often and trying to make up for lost time. An impossible feat but still... This is the last picture I have of us. New Years Day in 2003.