there's nothing like the First Time

i just got paid! this is very exciting!! i'll try and forget the depressing part that involves how LITTLE my first "paycheck" was but hey, i'm working my way into the Positive.

Last week was quite possibly my most traumatic since internship has started. I'm now on Child Protectives Services and we had a clear case of Shaken Baby come into the intensive care unit. He ended up dying two days later... I feel like I've seen so much craziness in medical school, but nothing could really prepare me to think about how a parent can hurt his/her own child badly enough to kill him. There is not one sympathetic bone in my body for these type of people.

On Thursday, I was driving to an off-site hospital for training on All-Kids, when I got my first flat tire... in the middle of this scary Southside neighborhood. That really sucked. There's nothing like feeling totally vulnerable and clueless.

Onto happier topics, Dan had a moving away party. So these look kinda scary but tasty! He had a ton of other hors d'oeuvres that looked prettier and were also very tasty but of course I didn't take pictures of them. We had a lovely time with friends. I'm glad he's not moving far! :)

The weekend ended with Scoop. I heart Woody Allen. Even though he's a big Sketch Ball. I also think that Scarlett Johanssen is drop-dead gorgeous. Oh Hugh Jackman isn't bad either. :) So overall, a great movie. Similar to Match Point in a lot of ways but maybe funnier.

a month's gone by already?

My mom was in town this weekend for a friend's son's wedding. We went to The Bongo Room and did a great job shopping on Michigan Ave. :) I got a new pair of pants and a top. The weather was beautiful... sunny and cool enough to walk around without sweating bullets.

I finished my last call with a bang, by sending a patient in respiratory distress to the intensive care unit. Besides that little adrenaline-pumping event, my last call was nice. I signed out all my patients and started on my Advocacy rotation where I work with Child Protective Services. It's going to be a great experience.

I can't believe that a month has already passed! It feels good having that under my belt now. It makes the rest of residency seem surmountable. Sigh. Now if I can only catch up on my sleep............

ignorance vs knowledge

is ignorance bliss? or is knowledge power?

it's weird being a "healthcare provider" and finding out that my grandfather has metastatic cancer. i feel like family members are turning to me because i'm a "doctor" but at the same time, what do i know about oncology?!? i'm not even a REAL doctor. (my excuse that i'm just a student has now changed to i'm just a resident!) so i'm in this uncomfortable middle-ground where i know more than the average lay-person but not nearly as much as a cancer specialist. it makes me feel empowered but at the same time, totally helpless in the face of such an ugly disease process.

here's a picture from S.Korea... it seems like such a long time ago now. i like to look back and remember that peaceful feeling. thank god for memories.

in case you were getting complacent...

i'm post-call. another night of admitting 6 kids. and actually examining and writing orders for a 7th which the PICU then decided to discharge straight home. thanks guys. my night wasn't already busy enough.

do you know why this is fun though?
because every single day is a new challenge. i had a patient who's electrolytes were all off yesterday. 1) i didn't know it was because he was dehydrated and 2) i had no fucking clue how to go about replacing which electrolytes. i mean. when did they teach that to us in medical school???

i feel so inept sometimes. what do you do when a patient keeps spiking high fevers even after you've given Tylenol? what do you do when a patient's PICC line area keeps hurting and she really does need the total parenteral nutrition? replace it?!

also, i try very hard to not be a cranky person. but gosh, this "chronic sleep deprivation" thing is really taking its toll on me. thank goodness for a call-free month coming up!

uncomfortable

i've been speaking in hyperboles as of late so let's just continue the ridiculous trend...

one of the most uncomfortable things in Life:
giant bug bites on the bottom or side of your feet

they hurt more than they itch... and i don't know where they came from. i hope it's not the fact that when we installed the bedroom A/C, we left large gaping holes that communicate with the outside World. oops.

one sixtyblue is highly recommended. it's an older crowd, at least during the week, so it'd make a great place to take your parents. the duck was excellent and the strawberry/rhubarb pie was the perfect blend of sweet and not too tart. yum.

there is a God...

here's how i know:

1. mean attending is now off service...

2. the MRI didn't get done yesterday so i was off the hook for not ordering it properly in the first place. it also didn't get done today because the MRI machine broke.

how exactly does a $50,000 machine "break"?

you gotta love the inefficiencies of a large university hospital. :)

i'm on call tomorrow which means i'm working the entire weekend and don't have a day off in 2 weeks straight. here's hoping for a good day tomorrow in which no one gets sick. :)

sleep

for the past few days, i haven't been able to sleep very well even though i'm exhausted. i'm too preoccupied about things. i worry that i'm not doing a good job. or that i messed up on something for a patient.

and then... i just realized that i DID mess up and ordered an MRI without contrast when i KNEW it was to have contrast to evaluate for an abscess... and now it's going to be a big huge deal because the patient needed anesthesia. sigh. tomorrow's going to be bad.

cute things in life

two of the cutest things in life:

1. a grown up male attending whose voice rises two octaves when he talks to a little baby patient

2. another grown up male fellow caught walking out of the playroom with his coat off, where he spent the past hour playing with kids just for the fun of it
(doctors are strictly prohibited in the play room)

i love my job.

Superman Returns

I saw "Superman Returns" yesterday... it was highly entertaining. It's long, probably too long (2.5 hrs) but I felt the time went by quickly and it didn't drag in too many parts. The guy who plays Richard (too lazy to look up his name) is HOT. I'd take him over Superman any day. Especially because unitards don't really turn me on. :)

This is my intern class, minus one, at the Faculty-Resident softball game, in which our asses were kicked, again. I don't get it... we were so much better than them! Anyway, how long did it take for me to get sick, as a pediatrician? One week. I have a sore throat, with sneezing and myalgias. :( I know exactly the kid who gave it to me too.