what i'm thankful for this year

i have a very long list of things to be thankful for... and many reasons why i feel lucky.
here are a few, in no particular order:

1. i'm thankful that i got to spend time with my grandfather before he passed away this year

2. i'm grateful for my education and that i seem to have chosen a profession which i love. and a program that fosters a safe environment to learn and grow.

3. i'm lucky to have such a supportive and loyal family.

4. i have the best kindest loving friends in the world.

5. i never go hungry.

6. i have my health.

7. despite my ridiculous student loans, i feel financially secure enough to enjoy life.

8. i feel that my best years are yet to come.

Thanksgiving 2006

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year, despite having to work through part of the holiday weekend and being sick. Wednesday afternoon, I was having a crappy day (problems with radiology, annoying parents, lots of patients to discharge, etc.) when I started to feel nauseous. At first, I didn't think it was anything but then the feeling got stronger and stronger and I ended up puking in the call room bathroom. Nastiness. I finally got my work done and went home, only to throw up more. But then I felt a little better and because I was wracked with guilt that my sister had been holed up in my apartment while I was working, I made myself go out for dinner that night. I then threw up the guacamole and chips later that night and woke up in the middle of the night to throw up again. At this point, I was worried that I would have to go to the ER and be fluid resuscitated and not be able to take call on Friday... but thankfully, whatever stomach virus I had, lasted only 12 hours and the rest of Thanksgiving day went vomit-free.

I love cooking when I have time. I made these green onion and cheese puffs, which came out really flaky and tasty:


I also made the green beans with red onions and walnuts:


and lastly, the broccoli with gruyere cheese:


my sister made two types of cranberry sauce. one traditional and the other an apple-cranberry chutney, which was a hit. everything, including Dan's butterflied turkey, turned out wonderful. Dan's roommate is a pastry chef at the fancy-pants restaurant Tru, in Chicago, and she made the most amazing pumpkin chiffon dessert. The only thing that I didn't partake in were the pomegranate martinis... I guess there's always next year!

my sister was in town for 1.5 weeks and we packed in a lot. we did a lot of shopping downtown:


We also went to see The Gorey Stories at the Viaduct which was appropriately morbid and funny. The next day we saw A Christmas Carol at the Goodman which was fun and definitely got us into the holiday spirit.

i'm now on Adolescent, which is an outpatient rotation. yay for free weekends and no call!

annoying

i live on the first floor of a 3-story apartment building. and it's really annoying when the family upstairs make a lot of noise, walking around. they also have a young toddler which makes things worse.

i also hate not having a washer/dryer in my unit. one day, i'll have enough money to live in a place with a washer/dryer and my life will feel complete. :)

my leash

I don't hate my pager as much as I would have thought... but several times a day, I do feel like it is my metaphorical leash. I am professionally/ethically/personally bound to my pager and every time it goes off, I need to pay attention to it and most likely, scope out the nearest phone and call someone back.

I would say 75% of the time, it's to deal with something stupid.

Like pharmacy calling to ask me "doctor, did you really mean to write for 70mg of diuril?"

Yes. That's what I wrote. and that's what I meant. Thanks for calling to verify. and interrupting my noon lecture.

Another all-time favorite is when a nurse calls "Patient Jones has temperature of 37.5 C"

Hmm. That would be normal. Thanks for letting me know. Please continue to page me with normal vital signs, every four hours.

I'm being kinda mean but in truth, those pages are better than the scary ones like "Patient Cuteness is having increased trouble breathing, please come evaluate quickly." The main thought in my head at that point is "how soon should I be calling the senior?" :)

Procrastinating

Why shouldn't I live another day in filth, when I can always clean my apartment tomorrow? :)

It's gross, there are dust bunnies and loose hair everywhere. Not to mention overflowing trash bins... but my sister's coming to town for Thanksgiving and I have next weekend off (yay for golden weekends).

here comes the sad part

So I'm post-call on Oct 31st, sitting in morning report, trying to pay attention but getting paged like a ridiculous number of times from various ancillary staff. (This isn't supposed to happen in our program, which protects our learning time but occasionally, people forget).

Then. I get a page... to my home phone in California. I had taught my parents and sister how to use the hospital paging system during my last vacation because I knew my grandfather was really sick and wasn't going to live long. I knew and I didn't know at the same time. My heart started racing and my hands were shaking as I tried to inconspicuously make my way out of the room again. My mom picked up and told me that my grandfather had passed away the night before. Peacefully. and with his wife and children by his side, at home. It's the best way to go, really. I'm comforted that he didn't suffer that much, but was still shocked at how quickly it had all happened. He was diagnosed with metastatic urothelial cancer (transitional cell) back in July after having blood in his urine for a while. He failed the chemotherapy and it was all downhill from there.

It's taken me a while to write this because I have mixed feelings about my grandfather. That side of the family started out estranged from my life for a long time because of unmentionable past wrongs. But slowly with time and a lot of forgiving, my mom, my sister, and I have lately been seeing them more often and trying to make up for lost time. An impossible feat but still... This is the last picture I have of us. New Years Day in 2003.

series

instead of writing a giant monster blog entry, i'm going to break this up into pieces.

let's start with the Halloween Party.
Our program director's favorite holiday is Halloween. This is a Big Deal. On Halloween, all the patients go down to the play room, dress up, and have a big parade, during which the hospital gives away HUNDREDS of pounds worth of candy. I missed that part because I was post-call. Plus, all the residents and attendings come to work dressed up in costumes. It's great. Makes me feel glad and lucky that I'm working in pediatrics.

These are the three Harry Potters. :) So the Halloween Party that night was at Landmark a restaurant/lounge in Lincoln Park. We had the whole place to ourselves, a live DJ, open bar, really really good food, and open bar. Did I already mention the open bar? I can't say for sure how many drinks I had that night but let's say I was quite inebriated. I was post-call but felt like I could dance forever. At one point, I took off my ridiculously high red-heels to dance more comfortably, on the nasty, sticky floor... I sure hope my tetanus shot still has me covered! :)

So we all had fun. And paid for it the next day when I woke up at 5:30am with the worst hangover headache and STILL FEELING DRUNK. I stumbled around, made myself some toast, threw up, then walked to the hospital to go about my "doctorly" duties. There were a lot of residents missing from morning report that day so at least I can say that I got there in time to preround on my patients and stay awake (at least with my eyes) during AM conference.

I can't wait for next year's Halloween to roll around. I need to start thinking about my costume!