The Life of an Egg

"In every child who is born, under no matter what circumstances, and of no matter what parents, the potentiality of the human race is born again." -J.Agee

Name:
Location: Los Angeles, California

I am addicted to Flamin Hot Cheetos, goat cheese, rainbow sherbet, and hummus. I want to meet Paul Farmer. I can't touch library books because they smell. I have a tattoo of the tree of life on my back. I have a problem with picking at my nails when I'm nervous, stressed out, or bored. I am irrationally proud of being from California. One of my main goals in life is to be a good person. And finally, please don't ask for medical advice, especially if it involves any sort of discharge.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

It's been a rough day

So lately, I've been working in the adult ER. My final 2 weeks of medical school. It's an interesting rotation which I am mostly enjoying but sometimes I can't stand the "down-time." It's not that our ER isn't busy enough but that it's so inefficient that we can't get patients out fast enough to see the million other patients who have been waiting for 20 hours. It also doesn't help when our hospital goes on by-pass because there are literally no available inpatient beds for the patients who are determined to be sick enough to be admitted.

Anyway. Today was my second shift and it was a tolerably active morning. I had a woman with right-sided chest pain and shortness of breath, ruling out of a pulmonary embolism. I had a young girl on her 4th pregnancy with vaginal bleeding. I had another woman who was generally hurting "everywhere" and we decided it was psychological rather than a life-threatening emergency.

Then the call came in. a pediatric trauma case because we're a Level 1 Trauma center for peds. It was a young kid who was hit by a car while riding his bike. The paramedics found him unresponsive, with no heart beat and not breathing. Their estimated time of arrival was 10 mins. About 20 doctors and nurses gathered in the special trauma room and began putting equipment and supplies together to receive this young patient. You could feel the adrenaline as you watched them working quickly, quietly, and thoroughly. Imagining how much the kid weighed, what interventions would be needed first, how much medications he would need, etc. 10 minutes passed quickly and EMS still hadn't arrived... Almost 20 minutes later, they finally came and the kid still had no pulse. Immediately everyone started working on him simultaneously. Putting in chest tubes on both sides to help the lungs inflate, finding IV access, securing the airway, and all the while doing manual chest compressions. What started out as an almost-exhilarating process, watching the hopeful doctors working hard to resuscitate this little kid, soon became a nightmare as they couldn't get a pulse back. Almost 30 minutes passed before they gave up. It was tragic.

It was my first witnessed patient death. and it was also my first pediatric death. (Though I've seen some pretty horrible things in the PICU). I thought about all the hard work that the doctors put in, trying to save this little boy. I thought about the driver who ran him over and drove away. I thought about the brother who witnessed the entire accident. I thought about the parents who were waiting outside in the lobby. I thought about how fragile life can be that this young boy's life was taken away so quickly and so abruptly.

It was painful for me to watch everyone cleaning up and moving on with the Day. After all, there were other patients who needed us more now. But it hardly seemed like anyone took any time out to think about what had just happened. Maybe it's not possible to do that every time, day after day.

I thought about the miracle of Life, again, and how lucky I am to be alive and well with my friends and family. It's going to be a hard road ahead for me as a future pediatrician, especially if I decide to pursue a subspecialty. But I really believe that this is my Calling and this is what I am meant to be doing with my Life.

May he rest in peace and may God be with his family.

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