The Life of an Egg

Memorial Day= Meat + Fire

2011-05-29T21:11:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is Memorial Day and it is amazing that Armand and I both have the day off! Of course it's not really a 3-day weekend, when he's moonlighting both Saturday and Sunday and I have a boatload of presentations and various projects that occupied much of my time on both days too.

But as we memorialize those brave young fellow citizens... we will be enjoying a backyard BBQ at Casa de Mama and Papa Chang. For a much needed break, I changed out of my PJs finally and walked to the grocery store (yes, walked!!!).

And now begins my little rant... The beef patties come in a bag of 10, but the burger buns come in a bag of 4 or 8. The brats come in a package of 5, but the hotdog buns come in 6. How does this make sense?!?!? I think it must be the bakery people conspiring with the meat people, but I'm annoyed.

Quarterly update?

2011-04-10T11:46:00.006-05:00

I'm procrastinating and decided to update my much-neglected blog. :)

Life has been good here lately.

We've gone whale-watching and enjoyed a beautiful sunset out on the water.

We celebrated my mom's 60th birthday with El Salvadorean food and a cake from the famous Porto's bakery.

I almost failed my "Genomics and Bioinformatics" class but managed to make a huge come-back for the final exam and ended up just fine. (Maybe shaved a few years off my life and had to pull out a few grey hairs, but oh well).

I went to a baby shower for one of our favorite nurse practitioners and here I am with my co-fellow and favorite hematology attending.

I've been to Brooklyn for a friend's wedding, which allowed me to catch up with old friends.

We booked our trip to Turkey in August for 2 weeks. Woohoo. Can't wait to visit the Hagia Sophia and the Blue Mosque and much much more! This will be our first big trip since our New Zealand honeymoon. (Canada doesn't really count).

Coming up... I'm almost a third-year fellow! Scary. Time has really flown by this year and I'm not exactly sure what the Future holds but we shall see! Every time I get super stressed out, I think to myself "I'm too blessed to be stressed!"

Totally worth it

2010-12-21T19:48:00.004-06:00

I got a holiday card and a huge cake from one of my dear patients today.

"Thanks so much for always being the positive and loving human being all the times I've come into the clinic. I just want to let you know how much I appreciate your help from the time I was whithering [sic] away to being healthier and in better shape than ever before."

Makes my job, not a job, but a passion.
and my life, TOTALLY worth it.

I have a lot to be grateful for this year.
Merry Christmas, everyone!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-27T13:25:00.004-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving weekend to everyone!!

Armand and I were both off for Thanksgiving day. Amazing.

We went over to my parents' house and cooked up a feast. We had:

two 17 pound turkeys

bruschetta

green onion and cheddar cheese puffs

sushi

cranberry sauce

green bean casserole

brussel sprout hash

roasted garlic and chipotle mashed potatoes

koroke (fried mashed potatoes with ground beef)

butternut squash

two homemade pumpkin pies

two store-bought pumpkin pies

pumpkin cheesecake

chocolate chip walnut cookies

pumpkin stew

jap chae noodles

black bean and basil salad

apple cider

I think that was our entire menu... needless to say, we were STUFFED.

We were joined by my mom's extended family, Patrick and his dad, Armand, and my dad's co-worker.

After dinner, we played wii MarioKart, which I am now obsessed with!

What a great holiday.

and while I'm making lists, I'm thankful for:

Armand, who is working hard being a pulmonary critical care fellow

my parents, who are continuously being supportive of both of us

my sister, who makes things fun and sane

my research, which gives me a huge break from becoming depressed

all my friends and family... especially those that are far away... I miss you!!

The other coast

2010-11-16T00:26:00.005-06:00

I was in Washington D.C. a couple weeks ago for a conference and brrrr, was it COLD! Half the days, we had lows in the 30s and highs in the 40s, and a couple days we had highs in the 50s. I was there was less than a week and my skin became super dry and my eczema started acting up! I think I'm cold-intolerant.

Despite the cold weather, I managed to have fun, hanging out with a good friend from HS, walking around Georgetown, shopping, and eating. :) Oh and I went to a few good talks too.

We also celebrated a couple important birthdays over the Halloween weekend, by eating of course. :) We finally got to Pizzeria Mozza! I've been wanting to try this place for years. I indulged in the pizza with goat cheese, leeks, scallions, garlic and bacon. It was SUPER delish. We also enjoyed fresh buffalo mozzarella... which is something I never buy at the store because it's so expensive! Whatever they do in that special region in Italy... it's magic.

Doctors as Patients

2010-10-05T00:02:00.003-05:00

I always think it's weird being on the other side, as the patient.

A couple months ago, I decided I should go in for a regular check-up. My doctor was super sweet. But she basically told me that I needed to lose 15 pounds, exercise, and take in more Calcium and Vitamin D. Then she proceeded to order a bunch of lab tests to make sure I didn't have high cholesterol or signs of diabetes.

I felt somewhat vindicated when my labs were super perfect, but I'm trying to cut down on my snack intake and I'm trying out yogurt as a way to increase Calcium/Vit D. The really hard thing for me is exercise... I hate working out, at least in the traditional sense. I hate running. But I do love hiking... and I would go biking along the beach if I owned a bike.

And on a more fun note... we celebrated our second wedding anniversary at Red O, cuisine by Rick Bayless, whom I adore. This is the cochinita pibil, one of my all-time favorite dishes. It was divine, as was the rest of the meal. yum yum.

Thought I would be posting more...

2010-08-28T22:51:00.003-05:00

Hmm, I thought once I entered the lab years, I would have more time to blog... Sorry you've been so neglected! Lots of exciting things have happened in the last couple months!

Armand started his pulmonary critical care fellowship.
My sister got engaged.
I turned 30.

Plus, life in the lab is pretty great. I'm learning a lot and I even wrote a couple programs in python. yay.

Another exciting thing that happened was that last week, I got an email from the editor of Pediatrics...! Inviting me to be a reviewer for a hand-off paper! WHAT?!?! I guess they think I'm an "expert" in the field... which is kinda sad for the field. :) I wasn't sure if I should accept but after talking to my mentor, she convinced me that I should and that she would help me. So yay! I will review my first manuscript for a pretty major pediatric journal. I'm honored.

I published a Glanzmann Thrombasthenia article for emedicine and I have two case reports that are submitted for publication. I think I've been fairly productive.

However... I worry that I'm not accomplishing enough, quickly enough, in the lab... the learning curve is steep but very very long and I have been taking a long time to get through things that would take other people a day. I try not to think about it in that way and I try not to get too frustrated, but sometimes it's hard because I like being efficient. I'm also going to get a masters in Bioinformatics, hopefully, if everything goes through... so while it would be great to have some coursework to lay the foundation for my research, the classes will also slow me down a bit, in terms of progress in the lab. Stress!!!

Luckily for me, I have a two week vacation coming up next week. We're going to Chicago for my best friend from medical school's wedding. YAY. I'm so excited. My bridesmaid dress totally doesn't fit because I've gained weight, but oh well. It's not about me, it's about my friend, and it's going to be a blast to celebrate with her. Then, we are hopping on over to Toronto, going to explore a bit around there, taking a day-trip to Niagara Falls, then up to Montreal, where we will hear a lot of French being spoken, and eat crepes from street vendors.

Stay tuned for pictures!

A new life

2010-07-24T11:26:00.002-05:00

Hello, World!

I am still alive, under all that sadness, stress, and bitterness. I'm officially a second-year peds heme/onc fellow and I love it so far.

My schedule these days consist of sleeping in (relatively speaking), going to the lab, sitting in front of my computer with two screens (screen space is considered real estate in this new 'business'), work until I'm hungry, eat, work some more, and leave whenever I want to. I can run errands in Westwood Village in the middle of the day if I need to. I can make phone calls in the middle of the day if I need to. I can make my dentist appointment in the morning and just come in a little later that day. It's so wonderful.

I have to admit... it's not all that easy. I'm working on sequencing the genes of a patient who was born with leukemia... this generates billions worth of base-pairs, and the trick is learning all the computer tools required to process the data and then to eventually analyze it. The amount of data that I'm working is mind-boggling... and it's all encrypted in these weird symbols that mean nothing to me yet... so I'm learning the command line and eventually I'll need to learn a computer language (Python), etc. I'm a little overwhelmed with how little I know (the more things change, the more things stay the same!), but I'm excited to take on this new challenge.

Most of all, it's a welcome relief from being fully clinical. I love my patients. They are the reason why I get up in the morning and go to work at all. But I can't see them every day, watch them relapse, watch them go through bone marrow transplants, and watch them die. It's too hard.

Now I see patients in clinic a half day per week and occasionally on weekends. It's the perfect balance. If there is a patient that I really want to see, I can just head on over to the hospital and visit for a few minutes. It's really nice.

I have much more to report... but I'll have to save it for later!

a little busy

2010-06-21T12:28:00.006-05:00

I hope to get back to regularly or semi-regularly posting again, at some point. It's been a crazy few months, but really, it's been a crazy year. I have this week off as "vacation" then I have two weeks left of being a first-year fellow. I can't wait. It has gone by really quickly, but not quickly enough. I've been traumatized and scarred for life, but I have learned SO much!

How about a recap in pictures of what I've been up to, when I'm not in the hospital...

This was at The Counter where you can basically make your own gourmet burger! Yum. But not as yum as Umami, or even Father's Office.

This was at the Griddle Cafe in Hollywood where they serve the most ridiculously yummy and ginormous pancakes... I was having leftovers for a week, literally.

Then I parked my car out on the street in front of our apartment complex for SIX hours when it got side-swiped by a 1800-plumber van... A kind bystander left a note with a partial license plate but we've been unable to crack the case.

My sister graduated from law school and is now furiously studying for the california bar.

My co-fellow, partner-in-crime, and I finally went out for drinks at an awesome bar called Copa D'Oro. It's like a speak-easy but with a great happy hour!

Then we flew to Seattle for a friend's lovely backyard wedding, overlooking Puget Sound. I had about 36 hours in Seattle and of course we had to squeeze in some good food. This was pork belly.

Pharm Farm

2010-03-13T12:45:00.009-06:00

Don't judge... because I've been going to a couple pharmaceutical-sponsored dinners lately. It's through Armand and his hospitalist friends, but it's actually not as bad as it sounds. There's no powerpoint, no formal presentation, just interesting conversation about different antibiotics mainly from this infectious disease doctor who Armand works with, and that's it. Time for dinner.

The first one we went to was at Craft in Century City... and we saw Conan O'Brien there, having dinner with two other women. He didn't look very happy.

The food was brought out family-style and it just kept coming and coming... we ate so much! This is me having the amuse bouche. Can't remember what it was, but it was jelly-like and tasty. Then we had a platter of prosciutto and cheeses... then a salad... then chicken and john dory. Normally I don't order chicken at restaurants but this chicken was amazing. Best chicken I've ever had. Dessert was huckleberry tarts and ice cream. As if that wasn't enough, they brought out little chocolates and gave us all little bags of granola to take home!

Then, this week we went to Providence. This place has two Michelin stars... I don't think I've ever been to a restaurant with even one Michelin star... (not sure if Charlie Trotter's has been rated...?) Anyway, it was this beautifully decorated room and this time, we got to order right off the menu! Anything we wanted! I started out with an asian pear martini that was delish. Then I had the Hawaiian yellowfin tuna, lightly seared...

Followed by the perfect duck. It was prepared just perfect, flavorful, but not overdone or overwhelming. With blood oranges and spinach. SO GOOD.

February

2010-02-27T13:03:00.003-06:00

Wow I haven't been very good at "blogging." :)

February was our month of visitors. Our friend Patrick came from Chicago. The visit was during the week so I was lucky enough to spend all our dinners with him. We went to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. SO YUM. and all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ. Armand and Patrick got to see a taping of The Price is Right, which was amusing.

Then, our good friend from medical school/one year of peds residency Sam came to visit from up north. We went on a really great hike in Malibu, to see the area where M.A.S.H. was taped. We also gorged ourselves on great food- a wonderful Himalayan restaurant near our place and more Korean BBQ.

Let's not forget an important day in February is Valentines Day! I know a lot of people think Valentines Day is a made-up Hallmark holiday... and so what if it is? I still think it's important to have special days to appreciate our loved ones. My mom's birthday also happens to be on Valentines Day, so we all went over to the house and made dinner for the family. My parents then left for a two-week trip to Costa Rica. So Jealous.

As for Armand and me... I was actually on-call the weekend of Valentines Day and the rest of that week, so we are celebrating tonight! :) Which works out better anyway since we don't have to pay extra for the hype. We're going to dinner at Akasha in Culver City. I can't wait!

Even better, I'm actually starting another week of vacation today! It's a little close to our January vacation because Armand happens to not be working Monday-Friday. We're planning to take a roadtrip to the Grand Canyon, possibly stopping by Sedona and Las Vegas on the way back. FUN! :)

Vacation!

2010-01-24T17:19:00.007-06:00

I just got back from my first real week of vacation since our trip to New Zealand last year. THANK GOODNESS. I really needed a break so it couldn't have come at a better time!

We flew to Denver, Colorado to visit the in-laws, friends, and go skiing.

We went skiing up at Copper Mountain and stayed at Armand's uncle condo in Silverthorne. We hadn't skiied in several years and boy, did I feel my age... My legs were killing me! But we still had a blast and only fell a couple times. Luckily, we escaped with no serious injuries. :)

In the evening, we hung out with my college friend and brand new fiance! We had a home-cooked meal, warmed ourselves by the fire, and played Bohnanza- the bean game! It was awesome.

Everytime we're in Denver, we usually consume large amounts of amazing food, and especially meat. Here we are with baby-back ribs made in the smoker and then placed on the grill. Yum.

We had some serious business to do while in Denver which involved visiting the State Capitol and being introduced at the Legislature since Armand's mom is a State Representative! Here they are at the State Capitol office.

We made another little side-trip to Boulder, Colorado to visit friends, see the CU-Boulder campus, and enjoy a free tour at Celestial Seasonings!!

We packed in a lot of fun and enjoyed seeing everybody. I'm sad that vacation is already ending and tomorrow, I return to the grind... 150-something more days left until my first-year of fellowship is OVER!

Dear Merry Christmas

2009-12-26T22:49:00.005-06:00

I can hardly believe Christmas has come and gone already.
It's been a year of many firsts... having moved back to the city where I grew up.

Christmas has always been a relatively minor holiday for us because growing up, we spent every Christmas away from the rest of our extended family, up at Mammoth, skiing and having fun with some close family friends. We stopped having a Christmas tree and Christmas dinner was usually whatever was easiest to make at the ski lodge. So for the last three years, I've had to spend Christmas in Chicago. Armand's parents would come up and we'd have Christmas at their family friend's house in Homewood. I have fond memories of amazing food, often Swedish, and an assortment of tasty cookies. There was usually snow on the ground and I'd be exhausted from having just come off a 30-hour shift, or exhausted thinking about going shortly into one...

This year I have 4 whole days off. Four sumptious days. It's been amazing. Like a vacation. Christmas eve dinner was spent at my parents' house. I made mushroom/asparagus risotto, Armand made a minestrone soup, and my dad made steaks. Then to top off the night, I resurrected one of my favorite Wellesley traditions: peppermint ice cream pie with chocolate syrup. YUM.
We watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and then came home to our cozy apartment, as Armand has had to work every day this past week. On Christmas day, my parents wanted to golf, so we hosted our dinner without them. Armand made a prime rib roast, perfectly medium rare, with lots of flavor. I made pesto pasta with zucchini and tomatoes, and green beans. We started with butternut squash soup. For dessert, we had gingersnap cookies. To work off all those calories, we played our brand-new wii and Small World and Jenga.

and the best part is I still had two more days off. tomorrow, brunch with high school friends, dinner with armand's college friend. it's been wonderful.

but I do miss my other friends who I haven't seen in a while. Love you all. Hope the new year will bring much happiness and peace.

Winter in LaLaLand

2009-12-12T16:30:00.002-06:00

We went to a Kings game last week at the Staples Center. I haven't been to that particular part of downtown ever, growing up here in LA. But boy was I surprised. It was all lit-up and decorated and had tons of restaurants and bars... almost like a REAL downtown! I couldn't stop laughing at these icicles though...

Thanksgiving 1.5 weeks later...

2009-12-07T20:04:00.000-06:00

Another thing to be EXTREMELY thankful for???

passing the pediatric boards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

minor (i mean, MAJOR) miracle. seriously. considering i only really studied the week leading up to the exam. thank you thank you thank you.

Thankful

2009-11-29T00:08:00.002-06:00

in no particular order...

i'm thankful for:

being able to have Thanksgiving day off and have dinner with my large, extended family, for the first time in NINE years

a wonderfully supportive husband who has been so good to me, especially this year with all our (my) challenges/transitions

my fellowship, despite all my gripes, i'm humbled by what our patients and their families go through every day during their fight with Cancer

being able to be in california, near my family, it's been so great to do laundry at mom and dad's house, but more importantly to have dinner with them and spend time with them and sister

nice, non-crazy in-laws who went above and beyond when they moved us out here, driving the moving truck and armand's car 2,000 miles

my friends who have been there for me and say just the comforting thing when i'm feeling down

pictures to come... ! i hope everyone had a lovely thanksgiving weekend, filled with food and most of all, love.

Dribble

2009-11-01T15:40:00.003-06:00

Happy one day post-Halloween!

This morning, bright and early, I dragged myself out of bed and attended the 2nd annual "Dribble for the Cure." I'm told that it involves the UCLA basketball team, but I didn't see any players. It's a fundraiser for pediatric cancer, and even though I'm going through a bitter time in my life, feeling like I already donate enough of my blood sweat and tears to this, I showed up with Armand's basketball, paid my registration fee, and dribbled around campus.

Here I am with the other first-year fellow, looking chipper. :) It actually ended up being pretty fun and we got a large goody-bag filled with chips, salsa, cookies, water bottle, t-shirt, and beach ball. Down with Cancer!

Mission Partially Accomplished

2009-10-09T12:04:00.006-05:00

I got myself a fabulous pair of sunglasses from Coach. Actually, I lie. I was too cheap to buy these for myself... instead I somehow finagled my sister into feeling bad for me and getting them for my birthday. :) I'm so excited to wear them! Thanks Nancy!

coming clean

2009-09-19T14:33:00.003-05:00

I should be doing a million other things instead of updating my blog, but Oh Well. :)

These past couple weeks have been pretty nightmarish. The week before last, I was on call x7days. I actually had a few good nights... but the rest were painful. I was paged about every 30 minutes the entire night and still had to work full days the next day. This past week, I was back on-service taking care of the inpatients and our census has EXPLODED. On average, we have 15-20 patients. This past week, we got up to 26. And because residents have rules on the number of patients they can see each day, I'm responsible for picking up the rest. This means that I've been getting to the hospital at 6am and not leaving until around 9:30-10pm every day. And on most days, I don't have time for lunch.

People keep asking "How are you doing???" and "How can I help?" and I know that they're just being nice but really, I resent these questions. I'm actually really unhappy these days and I feel like quitting often. and there's nothing anyone can do to help, except give us more manpower to take care of these sick patients, but nobody wants to do extra time on-service.

I'm sure it's not this bad all the time but I'm exhausted. Hopefully my next post will be cheerier because this isn't who I want to be.

Trajectory

2009-08-29T11:25:00.004-05:00

Wow it's already been about 2 months since I started at this new hospital and in this new position. Overall, it's getting better... but every day is different. Some are good and some are really bad. Mostly, I'm exhausted and frustrated and confused at work.

This is my last week of being off before I take a week of call starting this coming Friday. Those weeks are rough. Not looking forward to it.

We try to squeeze in as much FUN as we can... last weekend, we went to the beach finally! we drove down PCH, in the late afternoon, found a parking spot by the shopping area in downtown malibu, and walked to the beach. it was wonderful. just the PERFECT temperature and we relaxed in the sand, played briefly in the water, took a walk to the pier, and had dinner at Duke's of Malibu. I've always wanted to try this touristy trap but I have to say... it was fairly disappointing as far as the food goes, but the VIEWS are amazing. gorgeous. We felt like we were on vacation!

The next day we went to the Willard Wigan exhibit in Hollywood. He's a "micro-sculptor"... and makes these microscopic sculptures that you view through a microscope like the one below... this is a picture of the special lighting and on that yellow ellipse is the sculpture, suspended at the tip of a sewing needle.

This is a scene from Alice in Wonderland. He made special tools to do his work... and he paints the sculptures using hair found on flies...

This one of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is my favorite, but came out blurry... they were all AMAZING.

I'm still alive

2009-08-08T11:14:00.003-05:00

I know you had your doubts, but I'm still alive... we made it to LA just fine and then everything was so whirlwind... fellowship started... armand's job started... catching up with friends and family with the little time that I have.

I just finished up a week of being the inpatient fellow, taking care of the 15 or so hospitalized patients on the oncology service. It had its moments but overall, not as bad as I was thinking. but that's only because I was bracing myself for the worst... because this past month has been the most difficult month of my medical training, thus far.

Every day, I feel like an idiot. I just finished my pediatric residency, and after 3 years, even though I know there's still a lot to learn, I felt competent. and confident.

Now? Every day, there's so much that I don't know and the expectations are so much higher. So that's been hard... going from knowing a lot of general pediatrics, to knowing basically nothing in hematology/oncology. I know that's why I signed up for this fellowship, to be trained, and all, but it just doesn't feel that way when I show up to work.

The other challenging aspect is that the hospital I now work for is completely dysfunctional and the way our department is set-up, with all the budget cuts, etc., is also very dysfunctional. I can't even get started...

To say the least, I really miss Chicago and the University and all our friends back "home." It's been great to be back in LA, but I do miss Chicago a lot.

The good news that I got yesterday was that our paper has a conditional acceptance to our first choice journal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can't believe it's true... I keep checking the email to make sure. :)

goals

2009-06-19T15:40:00.002-05:00

i have a few goals for the next couple months, once i get to LA.

1. find a fabulous pair of sunglasses... i have never splurged on sunglasses and i need a good pair now that i'll be living in a place that actually has a lot of SUN!

2. build my work wardrobe... i haven't done a whole lot of shopping over the years recently but now that i'm a "FELLOW" i need to have fabulous clothes and look even more professional. plus, the weather will again, be different, so i need sunny-weather appropriate clothes.

3. lose 10 pounds... my weight is mostly stable but it's been up and down by about 10 pounds in the last 6-8 years. this past half year, especially, i feel like i've given into my bad habits and cravings more than usual. i fell off the flamin hot cheetos bandwagon. i've been drinking more soda again. etc.

4. figure out a study schedule for the pediatric boards in october... this is supposedly a VERY hard test; with a significant portion of people failing it every year. i really don't want to fail.

5. develop my teaching skills... now i will have residents and medical students to teach! i need to work hard at this very important endeavor.

6. i'm sure there a lots of others that i'm forgetting right now...

"graduated" again

2009-06-17T17:29:00.002-05:00

last weekend, we had our residency "graduation" dinner... there wasn't a real diploma involved or anything, but it was to celebrate the end of our general pediatrics training. it didn't feel like a momentous achievement, like medical school, but in a lot of ways, it means even more than just getting to write the M.D. after my name. i am supposedly capable of practicing general pediatrics on my own now! i feel ready... and yet SO UNPREPARED at the same time.

I feel even less prepared to be a fellow in hematology/oncology in just a few short weeks. i have no idea what this is going to be like, in a new hospital, with new residents, new everything!! so when people ask me "wow, you're moving soon, are you excited???" i'm not really sure how to respond to that! yes, i'm totally excited, but i'm so sad to be leaving Chicago and i'm terrified that i won't know enough to be a fellow. gosh, transitions are hard!!

We are packing up, slowly, but surely... selling off our furniture... the apartment is starting to look more barren. I'm in denial and it still hasn't FULLY hit me yet!

Here's our class photo... I am really going to miss all my friends and colleagues.

7 years

2009-06-06T11:59:00.002-05:00

Summer of 2003, we took this picture after the summer research presentations. In the middle is our research mentor and friend... who has been amazing to us and who has definitely shaped me (and my career). She is a nationally-recognized expert in residency duty hours and sign-out communication. When I first met her, she was just finishing up her masters in public policy and we worked on one of her very first major studies, involving the effect of night float on intern sleep and fatigue.

I couldn't think of a better research mentor when it came to my current project on physician communication and sign-out effectiveness. So the picture below is one taken in front of my poster (my first!) at the 2nd Annual Pediatric Research Day. We've come a long way!

nearing the end

2009-06-01T16:06:00.003-05:00

we had some time left on the meter a couple weekends ago and decided to wander about. we need to go to the modern wing of the Art Institute, before we leave. i love chicago. how i'm going to miss you!!! it's less than one month before we pack up our lives here and move... *tear*

i have always really liked the American Gothic painting... and this is a larger-than-life representation that we saw downtown chicago the other night!

the view from the new modern wing bridge...

the newest addition to the Art Institute! even the gift shop is worth going to.

Go Lakers!

2009-05-24T14:39:00.002-05:00

I love the LA Lakers! :) The western conference finals are especially sweet because it's the Husband's hometown team against LA. I think we all know who's going to win in the end, but the games have been so intense and fun, in a slightly stress-inducing way. :)

New Zealand, Part III

2009-05-24T13:13:00.002-05:00

In Rotorua, we experienced more of the Maori culture by going to a performance and traditional hangi dinner, which they cook in the ground for several hours.

The performance was a mix between music, dancing and folklore from the Maori.

The food was delicious! There was chicken, lamb, potatoes, kumara (sweet potatoes), and then assorted veggies, which may or may not have been totally authentic.

The picture below is from Wanganui, which is the newest thermal park in Rotorua, formed back in 1920 or so, when the volcanoes erupted. It was very cool... hot boiling water forming these colorful rivers and lakes; steam everywhere making the park look surreal.

New Zealand, Part II

2009-05-24T12:29:00.003-05:00

New Zealand has a lot of offer in terms of adventure... the first ever bungy-jump was off the Eiffel Tower, and was a New Zealander. He then founded the first commercial bungy-jumping company, and the Kawarau Bridge jump is it. It's 43m in height, and is just outside of Queenstown. We decided to do the tandem jump together and though I knew it was going to be scary... it was about 100 times scarier than I thought. I was so not mentally prepared for it! (Not sure if anyone could be!) We got to the ledge and looking down at the blue turqoise river flowing beneath us, I thought I couldn't do it. But before I even had a chance to change my mind, they were counting "3-2-1" and we sort of fell over the edge and were in a free-fall.

The rush you get is so much more intense than a rollercoaster... I think having your entire body's blood pooling into your brain helps. :) We have a couple other shots but I need to scan them in...

After cruising Milford Sound, seeing waterfalls larger than the Niagara Falls, rainbows, dolphins, seals, and fiords, we took a short helicopter ride over the mountains and landed on a glacier! See how deep the snow is (up to our knees!)

This is what we saw when we looked around...

New Zealand, Part I

2009-05-24T11:57:00.006-05:00

I have wanted to go to New Zealand for as long as I can remember... so when airline prices took a huge plunge, I was so excited to go for our belated honeymoon.

Words are just not sufficient to describe New Zealand. I've travelled fairly extensively and other than Alaska, New Zealand wins the prize on untouched natural beauty. Sure, Machu Picchu in Peru was breath-taking, and the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy is incredible, and the Great Wall of China is mind-blowing, and I love the Spanish architecture of Gaudi... but the entire country of New Zealand is an ecological wonder.

Rainforests, beaches, mountains, glaciers, thermal parks... they have everything.

This was the view from our B&B in Queenstown (Queenstown Chalet):

This was the view of Queenstown after we hiked 75minutes up a steep incline, because we were too cheap to pay for the gondola ride. :)

This is Peter's Pool that reflected the Franz Josef Glacier... one of the most amazing views of our trip.

We finally see the Fox Glacier after hiking for 1.5hrs and climbing 700 steps!

Baltimore/D.C.

2009-05-24T11:42:00.003-05:00

I know I've been neglectful... so here are a series of updates! :)

From where we left off...

I went to Baltimore for the Pediatric Academic Societies meeting, earlier in the month.

This was my first national meeting and it was awesome. It took place at the convention center. It was a little overwhelming and the schedule always had multiple sessions going on that were interesting... it was so hard to pick! My talk on physician communication during signout went well, even though I was so nervous, I could feel my entire body shaking! There were lots of good questions and it was, in the end, a huge honor to talk in front of so many program directors, etc.

Another bonus for the trip was hanging out with my best friend from HS. On Friday, I went to D.C. to have dinner with her, and on Saturday, she came over to Baltimore for dinner. This is a picture from Nacho Mama's, which had the most delicious (you guessed it!) nachos. We stuffed ourselves. mmmmmmmmmm.

Immediately after my talk, I booked it to the train to get to D.C., then super-shuttled it over to the airport, to fly to LA for the start of what turned out to be an amazing vacation.

flurry of activity

2009-04-30T19:52:00.003-05:00

There's been a flurry of activity around here lately...

Last week, I went to florida for a pediatric research symposium. I was mostly dreading it at first... I really hate being forced to make small-talk and "network"/"mingle" with strangers, but it actually turned out to be a really enriching experience. I got a lot of helpful feedback on my research and presentation style, and I got to hear about all these other cool projects that peds residents from all over were getting involved in!

Tomorrow, I'm flying to Baltimore for the peds academic societies meeting at which I'm giving a platform presentation. scary!!

Then, on Monday, we fly to New Zealand! I'm so excited, I can hardly contain myself... I don't know how I'm going to get through this weekend...

Oh, I know how! One of my dearest friends from HS lives in D.C. and we are going to stuff ourselves with good food and spend some time catching up!!!!

When I get back, I will have lots of pictures to share!

new era

2009-04-07T00:33:00.002-05:00

i just got an email from another fellow in the program who is making our schedule for July to July. looks like i will have thanksgiving day off. and likely a whole week off for christmas! woohoo. in order to arrange this, she sent us an email asking us if it would be okay to have call weeks closer together than usual. ideally, we take a week of call at a time, about once every 6 weeks. but there's a stretch where we have to take a week of call about 3 weeks apart.

seriously? i don't even care. i just feel so lucky to have time off for the holidays! this will be the first thanksgiving i spend with my family in 11 years!! eleven!

i'm willing to do just about anything to make this happen. :) so excited.

children of pediatricians

2009-04-02T05:11:00.003-05:00

in the last 2 days, i have seen 3 children of doctor/medical student parents.

in clinic, i saw the toddler of a medical student. with an ear infection. *already on antibiotics!*

in the ER tonight, i saw the toddler of another medical student with a stomach virus. and a baby of a family medicine resident with a viral infection.

all those kids?
definitely did not need to be seen by another doctor.

which brings me to thinking. what kind of parent will i be?
first of all. i clearly love babies. but i can NOT imagine myself having a baby any time soon, if ever. seriously.
secondly. i don't think i would ever take my kids to the emergency room. unless they like, were dying of meningitis.

and even then, it better be bacterial meningitis. we can deal with viral at home.

squeezing in time

2009-03-28T15:09:00.007-05:00

Still on this endless stream of night shifts in the ER... I was deathly ill on Sunday, with a fever to 102, and thought I either had strep throat or the flu. I had a co-resident do a strep test on me which was negative, so I'm fairly certain I had the flu. I have never been that sick in my adult life. Other than that one time I got sick with gastroenteritis in Ecuador and couldn't get out of bed for 3 days.

So. it's been busy. But I wanted to share two things.

I went to the Oriental Institute for the first time since I moved to Chicago. They had an exhibit on a mummy named Merasamun, who they recently put through the high tech CT scanner at the hospital. We were amused. It was a really interesting exhibit and they have a lot of other cool permanent exhibits there!

Last night, we finally went to North Pond. The Husband got a gift certificate for his birthday, and we tried to go for Valentines Day but he got sick. So even though I'm recovering from the flu, I felt well enough to venture out there last night. It was so worth it. We went with the 5-course tasting menu. and here are some pictures.

this was the amuse bouche. an oyster that smelled funny and green apple jelly with pureed cauliflour and mini-cavier. not my favorite.

this course was yum. it was lobster tortellini and crab, in broth. couldn't get enough.

this was scallops and pork belly. the scallops were okay but the pork belly was fabulous. so fatty and extra crispy skin. mmmmmmmm.

this was the "main" course of grass-fed beef. a little chewy.

this was another highlight- coconut foam and passionfruit custard.

and the grand finale dessert- chocolate wafer and milk ice cream with chocolate flakes. yum.

sleep deprivation

2009-03-17T01:04:00.003-05:00

argggg. It's 1am and I'm wide awake... I've had 4 10-hour ER shifts in the past 5 days and I have 6 more in the next week. With crazy hours like 6pm-4am, I won't see the Husband for 4 days.

I really hate working in the ER... it's just cold after cold after cold... educating people that no, a fever won't kill your child. and yes, the fever will come back after the motrin wears off and it doesn't mean you need to rush your child to the emergency room at 3 in the morning. and that small patch of ringworm she's had for a week? that won't kill her either. sigh. so jaded.

different pace

2009-03-11T10:56:00.002-05:00

after restaurant week, we really needed to penny-pinch and eat at home.

we've been moderately successful.

we met up with friends for brunch at Southport Grocery and Cafe. they are famous for their cupcakes, supposedly. but i had their breadpudding pancakes and thought they were delish. very moist. i could only finish 2 pancakes of the 3, because it was pretty heavy.

the next day, we had dim sum with some out-of-town friends at The Phoenix. mmm. i think we're going back here this next weekend.

i've been enjoying my outpatient allergy/immunology rotation. though i must admit, toward the end, it's gotten quite boring and unexciting. but i'm sad because tomorrow, i start working in the ER again and that means back to all night shifts and crazy sleep cycles. :(

we did manage to have friends over for dinner twice this week. mostly, our place is not presentable, but we did some "spring" cleaning over the weekend.

this morning, i spent literally 3 hours filling out paperwork from UCLA.

confession

2009-03-07T14:11:00.003-06:00

Dear Readers,

I have a huge confession... I've been in denial. I didn't want to tell you.

But I have relapsed into my addiction for Flamin Hot Cheetos. It started out so innocently. Just one little bag from the store. I tried to replace this unhealthy addiction with Cheddar Chex Mix, which are very good. But I keep going back. I can't help it. It's a disease. It makes my stomach hurt but not always, so I refuse to believe there's a direct connection.

I hope you forgive me... and support me as I try to get back on the Wagon.

Love,

Vivian

first the diploma, now the license

2009-03-05T11:05:00.003-06:00

the medical school diploma hangs over my desk...

it says that the University conferred on me, the degree of "Doctor of Medicine."

it's still a little hard to believe.

during residency, i've been practicing under a temporary illinois license.

but a couple days ago, i received my REAL california license.

it only took 5 months and a mound of paperwork (including my fingerprints being sent to the FBI and DoJ) to receive my california license.

it certifies that i apparently "possess the qualifications, education and training prescribed by law: and am "hereby granted a license as a Physician and Surgeon entitled to practice the profession of medicine in the state of california."

i am so excited.

culinary adventures

2009-03-02T09:38:00.004-06:00

David Burke's Primehouse

we went for restaurant week because i'm pretty sure they offered the best deal, so to speak, of all the restaurants that participated in restaurant week. david burke's is famous for the SALT CAVE and the unbelievable aging process, whereby they let the meat sit and basically rot, infusing more flavor into the meat, and then chop off the bad parts, and serve a most perfect steak. for $32, we had a pre-fixe meal with a few options for each course. i chose the lobster bisque, the 28-day aged delmonico, and the prime dessert chocolate cake. mmmmmmmmmmmm. every thing i ate there was lovely. the lobster bisque was so full of fresh lobster taste. the 28-day aged steak was melt-in-your-mouth. and the chocolate cake was rich and decadent.

The Publican

oh wow. this was our third time at the publican and i'm really going to miss it when we move. we went for the brew masters series with three floyds, during which the publican introduced their very own beer! banana split 7". i didn't have the beer pairing but i pretty much tasted each one anyway. we started out with the yellowtail crudo with intense candied orange zest and celery. mmmmmmmmm, anyone who loves sushi, or sashimi rather, would have loved this starter. i couldn't get enough. then... we had the duck heart. yes. you read that right. DUCK HEART, with oyster mushrooms and fried polenta. first of all. none of us, except Dan, knew they would be serving duck heart. in fact, when Dan sent out the email about this dinner, he purposely deleted the "heart" part so we all thought we were getting duck. but it was too late to back out once we realized. this is how i felt:
but really...? it was sort of like eating pork rinds... if you think about it, it will totally gross you out. but if you don't think about it, it's DELISH. and the duck heart was the perfect texture to go along with the mushrooms. you could almost convince yourself it was just another mushroom with the most intense duck flavor. :) after surviving that experience, we had the pot au feu with baby chicken (mild in flavor but very tender), morteau sausage (the best sausage i've had), and pot roast (the highlight of the entire meal). the pot roast just about melted in your mouth. SO GOOD. and the meal ended with a very tart yogurt panna cotta with passion fruit and granola. i was practically licking my plate.

small hassle to pay

2009-02-25T13:52:00.002-06:00

i think it's a really big deal that even today, the tradition of the wife giving up her last name- the last name given to her at birth- and taking on her husband's last name, as an outdated symbol of ownership, continues to exist.

phew, that's probably a run-on.

but anyway. this is just my personal opinion and it's not that i don't "respect" other people's choices, but that's how i feel. why do we continue this "tradition"??? i didn't even think twice about keeping my own last name. not only does it make sense professionally, since i have a couple papers floating out there with my name, but i don't see why i should reinforce this clearly misogynistic tradition, just for the sake of being "sentimental/traditional." i'm also a staunch feminist and i feel like giving up my last name would be anti-feminist. just as becoming a stay-at-home mom would be. (this reminds me that in the current issue of Wellesley magazine, there's a whole article on stay-at-home moms who are Wellesley graduates and it's very thought-provoking... but bottomline, it's hard to reconcile being a feminist and being a stay-at-home mom. because really? why doesn't your husband be a stay-at-home dad??? anyway, topic for another day)

so yes. i'm keeping my last name. the reason why i started this rant, ahem post, is because last week, i booked a hotel on priceline for the Husband. i used my own billing information and my own credit card, and i don't remember seeing a place to put the name of the actual person who would be checking-in... so when i printed out the receipt this morning, i noticed that the Husband's name was no where to be found. just my name. so i called the hotel to make sure it wouldn't be an issue for the Husband to be the one checking-in this afternoon and they were like...

"well, as long as he has the same last name, it should be fine."

me: "well, no, we don't share the same last name."

them: "ok, the hotel computer system is down right now, but you'll need to call back and verify some information, and add your boyfriend to the guest list, if you want him to be able to check-in."

in my head: "didn't i just tell you it was for my HUSBAND. not boyfriend, just because we don't share the same last name."

argh. narrow-minded people!

as predicted

2009-02-23T12:48:00.003-06:00

not to belittle any of the President's accomplishments thus far, but a little part of me laughed when i saw this article entitled "Clinton's mockery of Obama proves true." It's easy to sell hope from a distance, but not so easy in reality, to unite political divisions that have been present since the beginning of our country. i think someone is just starting to learn this.

surprise email

2009-02-18T21:31:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, while having a crazy on-call day, I received an email saying that my abstract was selected for a "platform presentation" at the big PAS (pediatric academic society) meeting in May. I was surprised because I thought I was going to make a poster and stand by it while maybe a couple people come up to chat about my project. But now, I have to give an oral presentation during the session for "Medical Education: Curriculum" and have a Q&A session. I'm honored and excited, but really? TOTALLY stressed out.

Maybe this is a good sign that my paper will be accepted to our first choice journal...? Though, I did have a dream last week that it was rejected. :(

great food

2009-02-16T21:53:00.003-06:00

happy belated valentines everyone.

friday was my first day of the new rotation. thank goodness for no more night shifts in the ER. my sleep cycle is STILL messed up. i'm really sick of waking up at 2am and not being able to fall back asleep. lucky for me, i'm on call tomorrow to cover for the interns who have a retreat this week. there's nothing like a 30-hour shift to "reset" my sleep cycle.

so i rushed out of clinic at 6:10pm on friday, drove home, threw on some jeans, and sped off to pick up my friend from a downtown coffee shop. this is Jamie, my old roommate from my month in Ecuador, back in 2003. the Jamie that got sick with gastro with me, after having a vegetarian pizza in Otovalo. the Jamie who speaks fluent spanish, is almost done with medical school, and is currently getting her MPH in michigan this year. she also knows our friend Adam who(m) i met down in Ecuador before he even started at the same medical school as me. so, it was a lovely reunion of sorts.

we dined at The Publican which is the coolest beer-hall type place in the warehouse district. my second time there. they had lots of good beer, i had wine, and we feasted on pork and chorizo, pork rinds, boudin blanc, and i can't even remember what else, except that it involved more pork. :) mmmmmmmmmmmm. afterward, we tried to go to a concert (some band from new orleans?) but found out it was sold-out so went to California Clipper to enjoy more cocktails and dancing. it was a wonderful night.

saturday, the Husband had to work (how can you say no to extra cash, even if it means spending valentines evening in the hospital?), so i went out with friends to Sun Wah BBQ. OMFG. the best roast duck i have EVER had. it was so tender and juicy, with crispy skin, all wrapped in a steamed bun, with the perfect sauce. i've had a lot of good meals in my lifetime, but this was definitely up there. we also had the garlic fried ribs (which you have to order beforehand bc it's not always on the menu), the peapod greens, fried rice (the most amazing fried rice ever!), butterfly shrimp, and soup. ahhh. heaven.

we finished up the night with drinks at bar deville, which is a new bar sort of in the vein of The Violet Hour, except not trying as hard to be a speak-easy. they specialize in good cocktails, have a photo booth, and great arm chairs, and booths. the crowd was a little eclectic and older maybe, but i think this place has great potential.

on sunday, we were supposed to celebrate valentines day by going to North Pond, except the Husband got sick and we had to cancel our reservations.

a most memorable weekend filled with friends and food.

coming up in the next couple weeks...

it's restaurant week and we're going to David Burke's Prime House.

The Publican is starting a brewmaster's dinner series and we're going to its debut of its own beer, brewed by Three Floyds.

obsessive tendencies

2009-02-12T15:50:00.003-06:00

I have a few obsessive tendencies that many of you know about.

One is that once I hear a song that I love, I must keep listening to it over and over and over again. I will put a CD in and literally keep it on repeat for days, if not weeks...

My current obsession is Jason Mraz. His other songs aren't nearly as great, but "I'm Yours" is SO GOOD.

It's so light and happy and sweet.

Here are the lyrics.

"well you done done me in you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks and
now I'm trying to get back before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest and nothing's gonna stop me
but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn
to win some or learn some
I won't hesistate no more no more
it cannot wait
I'm yours
Open up your mind and see like me
open your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart
and you will find love love love
listen to the music of the moment
people dance and sing
we're just one big family
It's our god-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved
I won't hesitate no more no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours
do do do do skooch on over closer dear
so I can nibble your ear
I'd been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirroe
and bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
and so I draw a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with teh seasons
It's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue
I won't hesitate no more no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours"

news

2009-02-11T13:57:00.002-06:00

Wow.

At our hospital, there have been slow changes that probably began about 3-4 years ago after a very influential administrator published an editorial in JAMA (journal of the american medical association) about the Urban Health Initiative. Long story short, the goals are to make academic medical centers highly subspecialized and to prop up community hospitals to make them capable of taking care of simpler, more straightforward general medical problems.

Bottomline, our hospital would like to change its "payor-mix" i.e. they want less patients on public aid.

I'm sure it's not all evil and I like to think that the implications of this ideology are way bigger than we can imagine right now... and we have yet to determine what its effects will be, exactly. Maybe it will be better for the overall community... or maybe it will be a lot worse. What we do know is that currently it is affecting the education of future physicians and is likely affecting the health of our immediate community in which we serve.

I'm a little surprised this hasn't gotten more attention in the media. I found this one article here that talks about how the economy has affected the hospital, most of which totally misses the boat because these changes have been happening way before the economy tanked.

The thing that hurts the most is that there are key people who fight for us, the training physicians. who fight for education. who fight for serving our community. And this past week, many of them have announced their resignation. Ouch. Sadness.

All I can keep thinking is... thank god we're leaving soon.

V for Vows

2009-02-09T17:33:00.003-06:00

I'm still trying to recover from this nasty cold I caught in the pediatric ER. Yesterday was brutal. Hopefully the low-point. Today, I slept NINE hours straight and woke up feeling much better. A little dazed and confused about waking up at 2:30 in the afternoon, but hey. I take my sleep when I can.

I know we're running a little behind schedule but I've been thinking about thank-you presents for a few very special people who played important roles in our wedding, especially our minister and our photographer. I think I have a couple good leads.

but in the meantime, I thought I'd post our ceremony vows. I know this is totally out of order and not organized at all, but oh well.

We pieced together the ceremony ourselves from an outline that we got from our minister. We didn't want it to be overly religious as neither of us really prescribe to a particular religion. and we really wanted to avoid a lot of the traditional lines, like

"dearly beloved"
"to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part"
"kiss the bride"

etc. you've all heard it. We couldn't avoid it completely but we tried.

So basically we did a lot of online searching for ideas and quotes, and literally pieced together exactly what our minister will say, except for the section that she had complete control over, the celebrant's remarks. Here's what we ended up with.

INVOCATION:
As we stand here at the altar of life,
where life is touched by love,
and love by life,we share with these two
who are taking their marriage vows,
their newfound happiness.
We see the door open
for comradeship and mystery,
for growth and fulfillment.
So we pray that they may each bring
their whole and best self to the other.
May they bring intelligence as well as faith,
to the task that is set before them.
May they maintain enduring
trust and respect,
remembering that to understand all
is ever to forgive all.

OPENING WORDS:
Dear Family and Friends,
we are here to uniteVivian and Armand in marriage.
This is a time we set apart:
apart from the ordinary and routine;
apart from the ongoing rush of life.
This is a time set apart
in the lives of these two people:
a time for reflection and commitment;
a time for beginnings and promises;
a time of celebration;
a time which they have invited us
to share.
This is a place set apart
for the gathering of this unique
community of people:
a place of welcome and remembrance;
a place of witnessing and sharing;
a place of hope and promise;
a place in which we gather to celebrate
the now and the future
of Vivian's and Armand's lives.

AFFIRMATION: (*this is the part where I started breaking down!)
And so, now I ask: Armand,
will you have Vivian to be your wife,
to live together in marriage?
Do you promise to love her,
comfort her,
honor and keep her, in sickness and in health,
in sorrow and in joy, and be faithful to her,
as long as you both shall live?

And Vivian,
will you have Armand to be your husband,
to live together in marriage?
Do you promise to love him, comfort him,
honor and keep him, in sickness and in health,
in sorrow and in joy, and be faithful to him,
as long as you both shall live?

READING #1
Because by Steven Reiser

CELEBRANT'S REMARKS

VOWS:
Armand and Vivian, if you are ready to confirm this covenant,
please face one another,
join hands, and share the vows
which together you have chosen:
Armand, please repeat after me.
I, Armand, take you, Vivian, as my friend and love,
beside me and apart from me,
In laughter and in tears,
in conflict and tranquility,
Asking that you be no other than yourself,
loving what I know of you,
trusting what I do not yet know,
in all the ways that life may find us.

And Vivian, please repeat after me.

I, Vivian, take you, Armand, as my friend and love,
beside me and apart from me,
In laughter and in tears,
in conflict and tranquility,
Asking that you be no other than yourself,
loving what I know of you,
trusting what I do not yet know,
in all the ways that life may find us.

BLESSING OF THE RINGS:
As love (God) is a circle
whose center is everywhere and
whose circumference is nowhere,so let the seamless circle of these rings
become the symbol
of your boundless love.

EXCHANGING OF THE RINGS:
Love freely givenhas no giver and no receiver.
You are each the giver and each the receiver

Armand, as you place this ring on Vivian's finger,
please repeat after me:

Vivian, I give you this ring to wear upon your hand
as a symbol of my commitment and love.

And Vivian, as you place this ringon Armand 's finger,
please repeat after me:

Armand, I give you this ring to wear upon your hand
as a symbol of my commitment and love.

READING #2
Hand Blessing

BENEDICTION:
I now read an Apache blessing:
May you feel little rain,
for each of you will be shelter to the other.
May you feel little cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
May there be little loneliness for you
for each of you will be companion
to the other.
Now you are two persons,
but there are three lives before you;
his life, her life, and your life together.
Go now to your dwelling place,
to enter into the days of your togetherness,
May beauty surround you both,
may happiness be your companion
to the place where the river meets the sun
And may your days be good,
and long upon the earth.

Armand and Vivian, as we near the end of this ceremony,
I share with you some parting advice:
Be humble. Be worthy. Be kind.
Remember that this commitment
is not founded upon marrying the right partner,
it's founded upon being the right partner.
Also, remember that this a journey during which "the little things"
turn out to be some of the biggest things.
Never get too old to hold hands.
and remember to say, "I love you" at least once a day.
Never take one another for granted,
instead nurture a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
Stand together facing life and let the circle of your love
gather in all of those whom you love.
Do things for one another,
not with an attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but with a spirit of great joy and appreciation.
Use words and a tone of voice
which reflect and demonstrate
true gratitude.
Retain the capacity - not to forgive and forget -
but to forgive and remember-
learning through recollection
never to repeat your mistakes
Nourish an atmosphere
in which each of you can grow,
creating a relationship
in which independence is equal,
dependence is mutual,
and responsibility is reciprocal.
Cultivate flexibility, patience,
and understanding,
Find room for things of the spirit
and remember to laugh,
as laughter heals!!

PRE- PRONOUNCEMENT:
And so, we have arrived at that moment!
or perhaps I should say "near" that moment
When we met together, I told you that your
ceremony would fly by in an instant
that it was really important to be "present" at your own wedding.
Toward that end and before you get swept up
into the dizzying excitement
of your reception
I ask you both to turn your heads
and look outward for a moment.
Stop, take a deep breath
and embrace the moment.
Take a long look around, a very long look --
(*I looked out and saw all these familiar loving faces, flooded with joy and love... it was overwhelming)

at everyone here
who knows you and loves you
and at everything you
see, hear, smell, and feel.
A wedding is about only one day
a marriage is about a lifetime.
Try to remember this moment
for the rest of your lives.
And now. we HAVE arrived
at that moment!

PRONOUNCEMENT:
Armand and Vivian
you have told me
and all of us gathered here today,
that you deeply love one another
and wish to live together now
seeking an ever-richer,
ever-deepening relationship.
You have formed your own union,
in friendship,
with respect for one another
and with love, and have publicly acknowledged
the same in our presence.
Therefore I, joyfully, acknowledge youhusband and wife!!
You may now kiss one another!

INTRODUCTION OF THE COUPLE:
Will everyone please join me
in officially beginning
this celebration as I say
It is with GREAT pleasure that I now introduce
and WARMLY congratulate Dr. Armand [his lastname] & Dr Vivian [my lastname]
united in marriage!!

... so I really didn't want to be introduced as Dr. but somehow I got convinced into doing it as the "formal" way. I know we worked hard to earn the degree/title and all, but it feels so "formal" and impersonal, almost. But it was the one and only place where I conceded.

There you have it. Our short but sweet ceremony. It lasted about 20 minutes and it flew by. but I like re-reading it. Brings me back to that day!

It's In!

2009-02-05T17:15:00.005-06:00

The talk today went fine. There were about 15 people there. The dean of the entire medical school was there. Oddly supportive. I'm so glad it's over.

AND! the more exciting news is that we submitted our paper! I'm keeping my fingers TIGHTLY crossed that it gets accepted because we've worked so hard on it. Seriously. Blood. Sweat. Tears.

Well, not so much tears, but it's been a 3-year project. Things move slowly when you're a resident, working lots of hours in a week. It was starting to become a joke... like I'd be at my computer and the Husband would ask "what are you doing?" and I'd say "I'm working on my paper..." this went on for months. We would have a day off and he'd ask "What should we do today?" and my answer would be "I have to work on my paper..."

He started joking that I've been "working on that paper for over a year," and it's almost true! We finished data collection in May. I'm so thankful that I had last month as a free elective to just really sit down and polish it up. and I'm very thankful to all the people who helped me. It would be so exciting if it got accepted in our first choice journal. Everyone, keep your fingers crossed!!

karma?

2009-02-05T10:21:00.003-06:00

maybe it's karma because I almost laughed at a patient.

but today is my Big Presentation, outside my department. I've been preparing for this for months. and working myself up, getting way too stressed out about it.

yesterday, I woke up with a little tickle in the back of my throat. by last night, I felt terrible- muscle aches, congestion. and now, I'm definitely sick with a cold I'm sure I caught from some snotty kid in the ER last week. I feel like crap. at least I have an excuse if my talk is not good, right? right?

I'm a terrible person

2009-02-04T13:21:00.002-06:00

In the ER last night... we had a morbidly obese teenager who was complaining of abdominal pain, burning in her chest, and vomiting. She clearly had GERD ("heartburn") and possibly an ulcer, definitely made worse by her weight. (not to mention noncompliance with the medication her pediatrician had already provided). So I'm taking a diet history and she drinks lots of "pop," two bags of Flamin Hot Cheetos every day, and too many to count cups of red Koolaid.

When asked "what do you think might be causing your stomach ache?"

She answered "maybe I'm not eating enough?"

I almost LOST IT.

I had to pinch myself to keep from laughing out loud. Poor girl.

I think she answered that because her pain is indeed relieved with food, which could go along with an ulcer. So I guess her answer was pretty insightful in a sense!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a place to live...

2009-02-03T11:52:00.005-06:00

I know it's only February and we're not moving until the end of June, but I'm anxious about finding a nice place to live in Los Angeles. I've been pretty spoiled by the apartment I currently live in. It's in a safe area, walk-able distance from the hospital, lots of easy street parking, and large enough for all the junk we collectively own. We even have a pantry! I've been here for almost 6 years.

LA is a littttttttttttttle pricier. Major factors that affect where we live will be:

proximity to the hospital (though who knows where husband will end up working)
good location where we can avoid traffic (yes, this can be done in LA)
affordable, especially since we're on the waiting list for UCLA housing (which I'm told there's a good chance we can get, and if we're not going to take it, I have to have a good reason)

So... I've been browsing craigslist. Ideally, I would like to live in a 2-bedroom apartment with hardwood floors, at least 1 parking spot, either in West Hollywood or Beverly Hills adjacent. These areas seem like they would be fun, and close to UCLA but not TOO close to UCLA, and also near my parents and sister.

Here's the other major factor... while I can't imagine living with my parents, after more than 10 years of being out of the house, they happen to be building their "dream house" in a dream neighborhood. Needless to say, there will be lots of room for the WHOLE family and free rent.

old house:

new house:

in the meantime, I'm finding that craigslist has apartments that are clearly out of our price range. two bedroom apartments for over $2,000. i have found a handful (literally less than 5) of possibilities that actually fit our criteria, but obviously now and may not be available for June. so the search continues...

Old Age

2009-01-30T14:11:00.002-06:00

Armand was just commenting that his past month over at [Affiliated Hospital] was harder than last year's month there, and I replied that maybe it was because we're getting older. I've noticed that my intern year was hard but not as hard as I imagined. I always had that on-call adrenaline and even after a 30-hour shift, I was somewhat functional.

But now? Now, I can't even form sentences on rounds after being on-call. I think I'm getting old. Or maybe it's the sleep debt that's piled up!

Last night, I had my first 6p-4am ER shift in more than 6 months. Sure, I did night senior where I worked 7pm-7am, but there's usually some down time and maybe even an hour of lying horizontal in bed. But in the ER? No way. There's not even time to get a drink of water, most days. It's Go, Go, Go, for 10 hours straight. And man. I didn't really feel it last night as I was working, but I could NOT wake up today. I got home around 5am and set my alarm for 11:30am, figuring I wouldn't even be able to sleep that much... but I had to literally drag myself out of bed at 1:30pm! and I have to go back to the ER tonight. sigh.

Last night was hard because it was the first time where I had to use the computer system entirely... It took me an hour to see ONE patient. One simple patient with a cold. So painful to write notes and comments and everything on this horrible computer system that is NOT user-friendly at all. Who the hell built this thing?!? Seriously?!?

Also, I was supervising a medical student, which reallllllly slows things down. It's hard to have lots of teaching moments when 1) it's really busy in the ER, 2) i have no idea how to use the computer system, 3) there are a lot of the same type of patients in the ER this time of year. I felt bad for the other residents who probably had to work harder to make up for my lack of efficiency.

Onto happier thoughts... I'm dreaming of going to New Zealand in May for our "honeymoon." But I'm worried that it won't work out with all the competing trips that need to happen in the Spring, involving interviews, academic conferences, apartment-hunting, and visits that I've been promising friends for a long time...

finding meaning in quotes

2009-01-29T10:22:00.003-06:00

i used to love quotes. i have several on my facebook profile. i'm not as avid of a collector nowadays as i was before, but i still enjoy reading them and thinking...

don't make fun of me for this but i still sometimes browse this wedding website and i found this post on quotes.

this quote got me thinking:
"No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth." Robert Southey (1774-1843)

i disagree with this. i have definitely found that it's true with some friends... you can go for months, maybe even years, without talking/seeing them, and you can just start back up from where you left off. but with some friends, time and distance grow between you and they become strangers. now this is where it gets confusing. because they're not strangers. they're this special person who holds a very big place in your heart, but they're just not there anymore. how can they remain in the past, if you think about them in the present?

Reception details

2009-01-23T12:26:00.012-06:00

Even though we kept things pretty simple, we did have a lot of details that I loved.

I made everyone's seating card. This was a lot more work than I thought. I tried to do as much as possible way ahead of time so I wouldn't be stressed out the week before, but the guest list kept changing right up until the very last minute, so there was a lot of moving people around and trying to figure out who should sit with who, etc. This meant a lot of changes to the seating cards too. But once the table assignments were set, I printed them out, cut them, and mounted them to the backing. My dad and aunt helped us put them in alphabetical order and put them out at the venue. There are all these fancy decorative options from the florist, but we only had scattered rose petals on the table with these:

I didn't want to do a guest book at all because really? No one ever knows what clever, meaningful thing to write, and who's going to look through it more than once? One idea that I liked was to have a polaroid guest book where guests take pictures of themselves with the polaroid camera and paste them into a book and write a note next to their picture. Sounds cute, right? But that involved obtaining a polaroid camera and film and finding an appropriate book, adhesive, etc. i.e. way to much work for me, especially since polaroid is now obsolete. Funny enough, the wedding that we went to exactly 1 week after ours had a polaroid guest book! It was fun.

Instead, I spent a half day looking for a matte that people could sign. I've had a couple friends do this and then they put the matte in a framed picture and it hangs on the wall. Much more practical than a guest book. Surprisingly, it was hard to find a frame that I liked so we just put the matte out and will have to find a frame later. We had our parents' wedding pictures out next to the matte. I think it's sentimental and also kind of amusing what they wore. :)

We put a lot of thought into our table numbers. In the end, we wanted to bring a little Chicago to our LA wedding, so we had different Chicago landmarks as our table numbers. Luckily, I came across this deck of "knowledge cards" of the Great Buildings of Chicago from the Art Institute. It had card-sized pictures of landmarks and then historical/architectural information on the back, which I copied and typed up in a Word document. So on one side, our guests had information to read:

and on the front side, we had the picture showing. Below is the Field Museum, which just happened to be our table. We really didn't want a wedding party table or a sweetheart table because we felt this separated the wedding party from the rest of their friends. So we sat with our parents/sister, and everyone else sat with other friends.

Here's another great detail shot of our flowers, from Jen K Floral Design. She was great. She was actually the very first wedding vendor we ever met. She has a bubbly personality, lots of ideas, and the best part is that she only does one wedding per weekend, giving her clients her full attention. Plus, she'll import flowers from around the world, so you can have any flower you want, regardless of season. We hit a couple bumps along the road, involving small miscommunications... but I guess that's what happens when you plan a wedding mostly entirely over email! I admit I was a little nervous about the flowers going in, but they turned out beautifully.

I had the idea of a croquembouche pretty early on in our planning process. There are so many pictures out there for beautiful wedding cakes. But they're really ridiculously expensive and really not tasty for the price. (They can run easily at $6/piece, plus some venues charge a cake-cutting fee, which could make a piece of cake $10 or more!) Some people do cupcakes, which I think is a cute idea (again, the wedding we went to 1 wk after ours had cupcakes!). But to celebrate the husband being part-french and having a french name, we went with the cream puff cake. The croquembouche translates into "crunch in mouth" and is named so because the cream puffs are held together by caramelized sugar. We had two, one vanilla and one mocha. They were from a local french bakery called Maison Richard.

Here's a shot of what the reception looked like:

The venue provided the uplighting by each window for a small fee, and the DJ had the rest of the lights included. This was nice because people also go crazy for lighting. You can have fancy spot-lighting on various places, and even have your "monogram" lighting the dance floor. Again... it would have been nice had I had an unlimited budget, but in the end, totally unnecessary.

New Year, New Haircut

2009-01-22T19:10:00.003-06:00

Gosh... the last time I went for a haircut was right after we got engaged... back in July 2007. Here's my post. I chopped off all my hair back then and donated to Locks of Love. I've been meaning to get the "post-wedding chop" for a while, but today, I finally bit the bullet. I went to the Chicago Ave Salon and donated 10 inches to Locks of Love!

I should have taken a "before" picture, had I remembered... but here's the new look:

and... I even got some bangs! for the first time in I don't even know how long!

I feel so much lighter! The best part is that the haircut was FREE! because I was donating my hair. So I got a new hair product (invisible styling cream), a new hair brush with boar nylon mix bristles, and tip, all for like $60!

go blue!

2009-01-22T11:27:00.002-06:00

I am very proud of my Wellesley roots. Here's a news release that was just delivered to my inbox about the three amazing Wellesley women who will be at the White House with our new President.

Go Wellesley!

on the eve

2009-01-19T17:38:00.002-06:00

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. How appropriate that it is also the eve of the Inauguration that we've all been waiting for. Yes. Even though I'm STILL bitter and outraged that the better Democratic candidate didn't win the presidential nomination, I'm pretty excited that the Bush Era is over.

I think I'm more excited that the American people elected an African-American man to the presidency, than I am about Obama, specifically. and that's pretty much the extent of how I feel about tomorrow... it's going to be so HISTORICAL. But I really don't understand why all these people are dropping everything and flying to D.C., and talking about how wonderful and perfect the World is going to be after tomorrow. That hope campaign has seriously caused a lot of people to put on rose-colored glasses and become DELUDED.

Regardless. I'm excited about the historical moment. What are we doing to celebrate? We're going out to dinner at a french restaurant in the neighborhood- reportedly, the place for many Obama meetings before he moved. The restaurant is probably the fanciest restaurant we have in this neighborhood and I've yet to go! So I'm looking forward to it. (Getting to check another box of the List of Things To Do in Chicago Before I Leave). They're having a pre-fixe menu. and my friend is bringing his 3-month old baby. We'll see how it goes! :) Hopefully, it doesn't involve crying.

Stalking, I mean Browsing

2009-01-18T20:57:00.002-06:00

I spent much of my time from July 2007 until September 2008, "researching" weddings. Planning a wedding alternates between being fun and being torturous for a lot of different reasons. There's just so much that I could have gotten suckered into. It's pretty sickening how commercialized it is and how extremely ridiculous the entire wedding industry has become. I mean, when else would women in their right minds be willing to pay literally thousands of dollars for a dress they'll wear ONCE, and not only that, but order said dress months in advance so the company can "custom make to every order" but still end up requiring hundreds of dollars worth of alterations?!? craziness. Thank goodness for netbride.

But seriously, I was so consumed with not getting ripped off and trying to maintain a budget but still wanting the day to be gorgeous, that I probably did not learn a single thing for my job, you know, "doctoring" and such. Because every free moment I had, I was online browsing various websites from theknot, to projectwedding, to weddingbee.

I'm glad it's over... but I'm still mildly obsessed with wedding-related things. It's hard to let go of something you obsessed over for >1 year.

So here comes my confession.

I love wedding photography websites.

I still stalk a few photography blogs, namely:

daniel chin photography (our very own)

next exit photography

christine farah photography

I can't help it... the pictures are oh-so-pretty...!

The In Between

2009-01-14T15:45:00.004-06:00

where did I leave off...

oh yes. The Ceremony.

I've been completely remiss in our wedding recap.

After the ceremony, everyone went to The California Club while Armand and I were whisked away to take some bride/groom portraits with Daniel. While everyone enjoyed the open bar and snacks at the cocktail hour, we took these pictures.

I was so relieved for the ceremony to be over. It was the most emotionally intense 20 minutes of my entire life.
Daniel got right to work and asked if we wouldn't mind lying on the ground at the Walt Disney Concert Hall. I didn't care about anything at this point.
This is an amazing picture... and classic Daniel.

I don't really have a good close-up shot of me in my dress. This is too far to see details... but I loved my dress. I've always wanted something completely lace. No sequins. No beads. and definitely no fluff. So many dresses these days are sleeveless but I've never been comfortable in a tube-top... I'm always hiking the dress up, afraid it's going to slip off. So I went with the halter-style.

This is maybe one of my favorites... we're finally relaxed, not so serious, and just having fun in some back corner with weird machinery in the background. I remember being relieved that Daniel didn't ask us to climb onto any of that said machinery... :)

We got some great views from the top of the concert hall.

this is another one of my favorites... not only is the light wonderful, but i love my bouquet. calla lillies are a little cliche, but so pretty!

and then we rushed back to the Club to enjoy the last few minutes of the cocktail hour and to stat the Reception! More, way more, pictures to come!

Already, I miss them

2009-01-14T10:18:00.006-06:00

5.5 months until I'm leaving this place I've called home for 7 years.

and I'm already missing my colleagues. as jaded as I've become during this residency training process, I love my co-residents and think they're each very very good doctors who care about not only the individual patients we take care of*, but also the broken healthcare system in which we work. i feel lucky to know each one of them.

*well... to be honest, maybe with the exception of one person. :)

WTH?!?

2009-01-12T16:09:00.003-06:00

Being a Californian... I have no idea what this means.

"WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY & COLD WEATHER ALERT"

I just got an email from some higher-up at the hospital talking about how friggin cold it's going to be this week. forget the Snow. I'm talking like 20 below freezing.

The last part of the email says:

"The Hospital has emergency response plans for the loss of critical utilities (i.e., electricity, steam, water). Faculty and staff should familiarize themselves with these plans in case of an emergency."

WHAT THE HELL.

Snowy days...

2009-01-10T16:59:00.002-06:00

It's snowing outside... actually it's been snowing since last night. And weather.com predicts some version of snow for the next 4 days. I haven't been this depressed since college. That's a lie. I was a lot _more_ depressed in college. At least my first couple years.

That brings me to... The highlight of my college years. The dear friends that I made while spending my third year at Oxford. I found this word document that my friend Andy had compiled, detailing all of our adventures from our Spain Reunion 2002. It's pretty fucking awesome.

Some direct quotes:

"While at the airport, had heart-attacks every time we saw a filled luggage trolley emerge from the doorway, hoping desperately that the piles of luggage did not belong to Vivian. Cardiac rate decreases when we see Vivian…and her small suitcase and carryon…whew!"

"in Valencia. Fallas are something to see, but viv is trying to navigate way to hostel without killing us all. Can see the headlines now ‘Dumb rich kids in big ass BMW caught in pitiful attempt to navigate streets of Valencia’. Actually, Vivian’s doing a brilliant job, considering she’s used to the more ‘civilised’ streets of L.A. Oh the irony…."

"On the way down to the metro stop, I almost get run over by a car while crossing the street, prompting Naty to announce the headline ‘Suicidal Chinito gets run over by ‘wencho’ !!’. Thanks, I love you too Naty. We find a shop where Vivian buys all the strawberry mentos available at the counter and then asks the cashier if there are any more. Naty, Fabio and I pretend not to know her. "

"Dropped stuff off at car and then went into Plaza Réal, where Naty called to try and get accommodation in Seville. Meanwhile, a bird flew over Vivian, first pissing on her arm, then shitting in her hair, sending her into a screaming frenzy, as she ran around screaming ‘OH MY GOD! THIS IS SOOOOO GROSS!!! AHHHHHH!!!!’ Naty continued futile search for accommodation on the phone while trying to restrain herself from cracking up, all while Fabio tried to hold Vivian down, who was now screaming bloody murder and running around the plaza. I ended up taking Vivian to McDonalds, going into the women’s restroom with her to help her wash the shit out of her hair. To console herself, Vivian bought a chocolate Sundae."

Just some of the many many hilarious moments/memories during that trip...

LA Chinatown

2009-01-07T23:15:00.004-06:00

Addendum

2009-01-07T23:15:00.002-06:00

to my resolutions...

to not take any of my blessings for granted!

2009 Resolutions

2009-01-06T19:48:00.003-06:00

hmm. Looking back, I didn't make any 2008 resolutions! oops.

Digging deeper, here are my resolutions from 2007 and how I did:

1. Read/Study more- definitely not...
2. Try not to be so cynical- definitely MORE cynical, especially after last month's rotation...
3. Embrace change- somewhat better at this...
4. Exercise more- definitely not...
5. Figure out how to invest money in a 401K or Roth IRA, etc.- did that! yay!
6. Pick up my violin again- definitely not...
7. Improve my Korean and Spanish language skills- definitely not...
8. Call friends and family more often- somewhat...
9. Clean my apartment- somewhat, though more difficult with husband/roomate...
10. Figure out what my goals are after residency- UCLA and oncology!

So... I didn't do that well. Let's start over for 2009.

1. Prepare for the Pediatric Boards on 10/12/09
2. Eat healthy
3. Save more, spend less
4. Move all my crap to LA in June
5. Be less cynical
6. Enjoy being a "newlywed"
7. Find my true passion within oncology
8. Reduce my carbon footprint
9. Find more time for myself, and my husband
10. Floss
11. Aspire for simplicity

2009

2009-01-06T00:53:00.005-06:00

Happy New Year, everyone!

My trip home is winding down... it was filled with shopping, sleeping in, eating, and spending time with family and friends. all under clear blue skies and warm 60-70 degree weather. I'm going to miss this... though, thankfully, I won't have to wait too long before we move back here!

I spent new years eve, like I always do- with family! We went to my aunt's house to make dumplings from scratch. SO YUMMY. As a reward to ourselves for all our hardwork, and to ring in the new year, we had the largest oysters I've ever seen. Actually, I only had one, because I'm not the biggest fan, but look at these piles:

Afterward, my sister and I watched a movie we had rented (Smart People, I think it was called...? not that memorable) and fell asleep.

The real feast, however, began on New Years Day. This is one of my all-time favorite korean dishes... jap-chae noodles! mmm. I could have eaten this entire bowl. and ta-da! Here is the main reason I love New Years... dumpling and rice cake soup. See those beautiful perfect dumplings? They taste even better than they look!

And of course our meal wouldn't be complete without rice cakes. The one on the left is made with pumpkin. Tasty!

Shortly after ringing in the New Year, our family left for a quick weekend getaway to Ojai, California, where we gorged on more food, did some serious damage with our outlet shopping, and went on a beautiful mountain hike.

Next up, I'm going to post my 2009 resolutions!

Holidays

2008-12-28T22:44:00.005-06:00

Phew. It's been a loooong month but it's over and I made it to California in one piece!

It was rough through the Christmas week because I had to work every single day since 12/21. and it's never as quiet as you expect on Christmas.

But I was able to leave for three very special dinners with my hubby and his family and family friends. Christmas eve, we had a "Swedish Christmas" dinner with Swedish meatballs and potato sausage, beets, and cabbage. Yum.

This was the first time I've ever had a Waterford "salad"... cool whip and pineapple and a few other simple ingredients that are divine in combination. I could have had this entire bowl!

This is the best Swedish dessert: osta caka. Not sure if that's how you spell it but it's between a custard and a cheesecake and it's SOOOOO delicious. Topped with blueberries and whipped cream. My in-laws make this for me every time I visit Denver so it was a treat to have it in Chicago this time around!

I have no food pictures from Christmas dinner, but we had the most tender tenderloin and Erin's famous plate of 10 different cookies. mmm.

My last day in Chicago with my hubby, we had an unexpected afternoon off together. We went to Molly's Cupcakes and had two very very moist and perfect cupcakes. I had the cookies and cream cupcake and Armand had the tiramisu cupcake. That with hot chai and coffee, while playing games reminiscent of our childhood (Connect Four and Scrabble)... a great way to spend an afternoon.

Currently, I'm in LA enjoying the sunshine and the great shopping bargains! :)

Happy holidays to everyone... can't wait to see what 2009 will bring!

Wow.

2008-12-06T11:44:00.002-06:00

I thought after my month in the intensive care units, that _nothing_ could be worse. I was so wrong.

Being a true "senior" on a fairly big team is harder than I imagined. And I was already imagining it to be hard. But I seriously spend my entire days (which are long btw) running around like a chicken with a head cut off. I carry many hats:

-Secretary (answering the phone, returning pages, working on the signout)

-Referee (calming down angry parents, negotiating between pharmacy, radiology, and the nurses)

-Supervisor (for interns and medical students, and even sometimes the ER!)

-Personal Bitch (for the Attending)

The good thing is that we don't have to be work overnight, but the bad thing is I often get home close to 8:30-9p, six days a week! Our hours are close to 75hrs/week, which is pretty darn hard to do without taking overnight call.

The other good thing is that the FUN parts of this month are when I actually get to supervise and teach. I just feel like those moments are few and far between.

Thanksgiving 2008

2008-11-29T20:23:00.004-06:00

It was our last Thanksgiving in Chicago... Our next Thanksgiving will probably be at home! I haven't been home (my parents' home) for Thanksgiving in... 9 years.

Unfortunately, I had to work for most of the holiday, which includes Weds, Thurs, Fri, and Sat. It sucked, especially since I was really sick with a flu-like illness starting Weds. But I got through the work day and I rushed home on Weds and cooked for like 5 hours straight, while doing 2 loads of laundry at the same time. It doesn't sound like fun, but I really enjoy preparing for Thanksgiving.

So Thurs, I also had a full day of work... nothing went as smoothly as I would have liked and I was over an hour late getting out. I rushed home, we packed up the car with all our food and drinks and games and extra chairs and sped off to our friend Dan's place for Thanksgiving.

It was WONDERFUL. We had a special "Heritage" turkey that comes from a line of turkey that has been raised as naturally as possible.
This is the list of things we had on the table:

chickpea crostini
herb-marinated goat cheese
assorted salami/an additional cheese
roasted turkey
gravy
sage and goat cheese mashed potatoes
apple, bacon and carmelized onion bread stuffing
green bean casserole
wild mushroom and chestnuts
cranberry sauce with ginger and pears
roasted shallots
butternut squash soup
fresh-baked bread
cornbread
pecan pie
pumpkin cheesecake

here's a picture of my plate:

we were so stuffed at the end... plus warm apple cider that I got from the Green City Market, which was SO much better than the store-bought variety and worth every penny. Yum. There were 9 of us, lots of heated conversation about everything from the economics of the bailout plan to the very special bottle of Three Floyd's Dark Lord Stout which btw tastes like soy sauce. (i hate beer)

I was so exhausted by midnight, had a huge headache, and so we missed out on the games. But it was still a wonderful night.

Why I'm Thankful in 2008 (a partial list)
1. my wonderful hubby
2. this being my last year of residency!
3. we're moving to california soon!
4. my parents who are dysfunctional but loving and supportive
5. all our loved ones who made our wedding day the best day of our lives
6. the current state of our economy doesn't really affect us since we didn't have money to lose and not enough to spend on anything in the near future!
7. good health
8. my awesome super smart and stylish sister, who also happens to be the best wedding coordinator around
9. my grandmother who practically raised us
10. my privileged life; and hopefully because of that, i can play some small role in helping those who are less privileged.

It's already been a month

2008-11-09T14:24:00.007-06:00

We've already been married for over a month! When do you stop being a "newlywed"?

Time to post some of my favorite pictures from our big day. I'll split this up into three entries. Today will be ceremony pictures.

This is the front of our Church- the First Congregational Church of L.A. We had no special affiliation with this church and picked it because it was beautiful, in a great location near our reception venue, and it was available!

This is a great shot of the largest pipe organ inside a Church, in the world. We didn't hire any extra musicians and instead, had the Church organist play pieces that we loved- Ave Maria, Pachelbel's Canon, etc.

At first I didn't want to wear a veil, but my mom convinced me of it. She felt the Church was so large and grande that a long veil would work best. My grandmother's sister made this mantilla veil for me. I loved it!

All my bridesmaids. Three were my oldest friends from high school, and my sister was my maid of honor. My bouquet was all pink calla lillies, with some bling in the form of crystals. The girls had green orchids mixed with various other beautiful pink flowers.

My two grandmothers wore traditional Korean dresses. This is my maternal grandmother getting ready to walk down the aisle with my cousin. Her outfit was so cute! and the colors matched perfectly with our wedding colors: brown, pink, and green.

It was really important for me to walk down the aisle with both my parents. I'm not much of a traditionalist and think the whole idea of being "given away" by my father to be outdated and sexist (my personal opinion!!). The ceremony itself was really emotionally intense. We put together the entire ceremony from an outline provided to us by our minister Kyle Nash. We know Kyle Nash from medical school and she was an extremely pivotal person in making the medical school experience a positive one for us, so we felt really lucky that she flew out to CA for us! I cried and laughed almost the entire way through, while stressing out about black mascara dripping down my face. But our makeup artist was awesome and my makeup stayed perfect the entire night! Thank goodness our photographer was able to capture my non-crying face!Yay, we're married! This is us, feeling very relieved! Afterward, we went immediately into the bridal room with our wedding party for a few minutes together. We didn't want a long receiving line, so we waited until our guests started leaving for the cocktail hour, and then our photographer took just Armand and me to take some portraits. Those are up next...!
All these photographs are by Daniel Chin Photography.

Big Weekend

2008-11-02T14:08:00.004-06:00

Halloween. I used to think this was a really weird "holiday" and that it seemed really silly that "grown-ups" would get all dressed up and overdose on candy and/or alcohol, while roaming the streets on a random cold day.

I guess I still sort of think that... but our program director loves Halloween and so every year, she throws a huge party for us. Open Bar. Great Food. Fun Music and Dancing. and so, I've gotten sucked into it. This year the theme was "saturday morning cartoons." We went as Smurfette and Papa Smurf.

I was post-call but having had a light call on heme/onc for once, it was a blast. I was the designated driver but still got to enjoy the most amazing melt-in-your-mouth beef appetizers and donut-hole dessert. mmmm. :)

Post-Halloween, on November 1st, we celebrated Armand's birthday. He's a halloween baby, like so many other people I happen to know! We went to A Tavola, which I had been hearing about for so long, for dinner. It's this small cozy restaurant in a house! (Like Think, but better). Great Italian food with reasonable prices. I had the lamb ragout over tagliatelle and Armand had the grouper. Oh, and their baked apple tart was AMAZING. Maybe one of the best apple desserts I have ever had. I inhaled it.

After dinner, we met up with a bunch of friends at Juicy Wine Company. The first floor of this place feels more like a market, not really designed for lingering, but the upstairs is beautiful. Dark, and airy, with booths lining the sides, and a couch-type seating area along the window. This is the area that we reserved. They brought out a huge meat and cheese platter and everyone ordered their own drinks. I had the Pom Royale, which was pomegranate liquer and bubbly. That was after the mojito. :) Our friend Dan made another kick-ass chocolate cake with cinnamon and chile pepper spice.

It's been a great, relaxing weekend. I'm catching up on some reading. Gearing up for the new week to start, with the Scary Intimidating Attending.

p.s. Good luck Obama!!

My Friend's Wedding

2008-10-23T21:16:00.003-05:00

We had an awesome time in San Diego, going to Yasmin's wedding and enjoying beautiful southern california. Here's a cute group picture:

We were lucky enough to stay at a family friend's condo, downtown, just a few blocks from the reception! This was the view from one of the two balconies. It was amazing. We took a cab to the condo and then used their car to get around. We mostly explored around Balboa Park and hit up a couple great brunch places. That's all the time we had, so we're definitely going back there when we move to LA next year.
I'm on call tomorrow for the ICU. Two more calls and NO MORE ICU. I'm so excited. Not that I can complain too much since it's been relatively quiet (*knock on wood*). but I'm just ready to move on with my life. I've already matched! It's hard to stay motivated.

This weekend, I'm working, but will try to squeeze in some time to catch more films at the Chicago International Film Festival. One of my favorite festivals!!

Since Being A Wife

2008-10-14T18:45:00.003-05:00

I have so much to update, it's overwhelming. I don't have any of the professional wedding pictures yet so I will recap all of that at another time...

Since being back to Chicago, we have hardly spent any time at home.
The first weekend back, we flew to Boston for my friend's wedding.
The second weekend back, we drove to Milwaukee for my _husband_'s friend's 30th birthday party.
The third weekend back, is the only weekend we've been at home so far; and we had a friend from Minneapolis visiting.
The fourth weekend back, we flew/drove to Hastings, Nebraska because the hubby's grandfather was really sick... he passed away this morning. Sad. but at least painless and relatively quick. I'm really glad we had some time with him when he was awake and alert.
This coming weekend, we're flying to San Diego for another wedding.

Sigh. So that's the explanation for the long silences... I'm currently back in the ICU so life sucks in theory. It's only been 2 days and surprisingly, I haven't been TOO pained yet. But don't worry. I'm on call this Thursday so I'm sure everything will change.

Wife?!?

2008-09-30T22:17:00.003-05:00

Got married! 9/20/08

in an amazing ceremony in a beautiful church with the largest pipe organ in a church in the world... and the most fun reception at an even more beautiful venue in downtown LA, where i danced the entire night away with my dearest friends and family!

i am overwhelmed with the love and support from everyone.

we've been blogged here about our engagement photo shoot at The Observatory.

the rest of the collection is here. the password is my last name with a capital C.

daniel did half our wedding pictures too so there will be more... and dennis did the other half and i can't wait to see them all!

here's one of my favorites from Dan, the best man (hey that rhymes!):

It's almost September

2008-08-28T09:40:00.002-05:00

Yay. I survived my month in the PICU. All I can say is THANK GOD IT'S OVER.
I went out with a bang, on my last call, in typical fashion. My attending asked me "what are you? the shit magnet?!?" And yes, it's true, all month I've been the Shit Magnet.

My last night, I admitted a young boy who tried to intentionally hang himself, an oncology patient who is basically dying and has a tremendous amount of uncontrollable bony pain, and a teenager who got into a gun-fight with someone and got shot 6 times in the abdomen.

For the next 2 weeks, I'm doing night shifts as the senior on general peds. Not my favorite rotation but way better than the ICU. This weekend, one of my best friends from high school is coming to visit me for our pseudo-"wedding shower" thrown by our best man. So excited.

Can this week get any suckier?

2008-08-16T10:57:00.004-05:00

Wow. It's been a horrible week.

My last call, not only did I get zero sleep, and had to do a spinal tap at 5:30 in the morning, post-call, but three patients died in 24 hours. They were all mostly expected but STILL. Then I just found out that another one of my patients died. That's 4 patients this week who have passed away, and 5 total for the month, and counting... since we have another 1.5 weeks left.

I don't even know what to say. Death is always hard. But when kids die, it's a whole different emotional rollercoaster. The scary part is that I didn't even once cry while it was happening. I didn't even really feel that sad. I was just so exhausted and almost relieved that it happened rather uneventfully. Not until I came home and said it aloud, did the gravity of what had happened, hit me like a ton of bricks. The weight that I had been carrying inside, that I pretended not to carry, just came crashing down and I cried myself to sleep.

The one highlight of this week is that our good friend from medical school is in town. We drove out to the airport area to have dinner last night, had a great meal, whereupon we gorged ourselves on great steak and strawberry shortcake... only to find out my car brakes had been destroyed somehow. I've never had my car actually break down, so I guess there's always a first time. and I shouldn't be surprised since I do drive a car that's almost 19 years old, but really? Did this need to happen this week?!?

A few minutes of pure terror

2008-08-08T10:12:00.002-05:00

My first day off in weeks. I sleep in as much as I can, wake up, have some cereal and my morning coffee in my favorite mug, turn the computer on and try to check my email.

It times out and gives me an error message.

I try opening a web browser and the same thing happens. My internet is broken.

I restart and reconnect everything, including my computer. Nothing. I'm at my wit's end at this point. I want to call tech support but I don't even have a way of finding out their number without the Internet!!

But luckily, the third time must really be the charm because the third time I restarted my computer, it is now miraculously working again. I don't get it but I'm happy again.

We all know this but I just realized once again how technology-dependent we are, as a society.

my first week back in the ICU

2008-08-07T18:12:00.004-05:00

Generally, I love my job. Actually, it should really be "job" in quotes since we, as residents, are stuck in this weird not-a-student-anymore but not-done-training position.

But being a resident in the intensive care unit sucks. It's my least favorite thing to do. Or maybe my second-to-least favorite. The first couple days were hard because the patients are complicated and I felt I didn't know any of the patients. My first call was hard not because I got a lot of new patients, but because Stuff kept happening to the old patients. I got zero sleep. My second call was hard because I had 11 new admissions. The World Record is 14 admissions to the ICU in one night. I am really not out to break the Record.

Needless to say I got zero sleep that night too. I haven't had a day off in two straight weeks. and I hate every second that I spend in the ICU. I'm grumpy.

But the good news is that I'm off tomorrow! So excited. Lots of errands to run!

Disasters

2008-07-30T22:00:00.002-05:00

You may have heard about the moderate-sized earthquake that hit Los Angeles on Tuesday, July 29th. There's a scary CNN article here. They have been saying for years that The Big One is going to hit soon. They've been saying this since 1994, when we had the last Big One. But it's still scary.

I've been thinking... is it really worth it? To live in a place that has earthquakes, and the potential to literally separate and fall off from the rest of the continental U.S.? Well, if I could trade a chance of having medium-sized earthquake every few years that lasts about 20 seconds, over BAD WEATHER ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DAY like we have here in Chicago, then YES. It's still worth it to me.

Not saying I'm not scared, but it's definitely a trade-off I'm willing to take.

Triple Baby Shower

2008-07-27T22:29:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we went to a Triple Baby Shower. Not for triplets. But for three of my classmates who are either pregnant or have wives who are pregnant. It was hosted by the one other classmate who has a baby, out in the suburbs. I was a little disappointed that we ran out of time to play with bean bags (ha) but otherwise, it was fantastic. They have a backyard, with grass and a gazebo, and we all passed around the baby who by the way, is the BEST BABY I have ever met. He only cried once during the entire evening and it was because he was pooping! lol

Today we went to brunch at Pannenkoeken, which I've been wanting to try for a looong time. It was well worth the trek up there! I had the chocolate and banana pancakes and they were so yum. The pancake was fluffy and just a little thicker than a crepe. The whipped cream melted slowly and made the pancake even moister, just the perfect combination to go with the chocolate and banana! mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

This is my last week at the affiliate hospital, working in the "ER." I would be relieved except that I'm going into the intensive care unit at the end of the week... and the last time I was there, I almost died of exhaustion and emotional wreckage. I'm sooo not looking forward to it. :(

Further Clarification

2008-07-19T12:52:00.003-05:00

Yes, I actually do get relevant advertisements on facebook... am I the only one? All of the ones I see are wedding-related or travel-related. I even saw one for hotels/apartments in Argentina which is a place I've been wanting to go to, possibly on our honeymoon, even!

Speaking of wedding.

Last week, we sent out our invitations. and every day since, we've been getting multiple RSVPs back! I am always so surprised that people send them back promptly but also so relieved! It makes further planning a lot easier!

This week, we started receiving early wedding presents already!! It's a bit overwhelming with all the boxes, especially since Armando hasn't fully unpacked his things yet, but I'm so excited about these new shiny additions to our household! Does that make me materialistic? :)

We're off to see the Batman movie now... Two of our friends have a cameo. lol They were extras and reportedly, they make a 1-second appearance.

Ten Reasons Why I Love Facebook

2008-07-12T22:10:00.002-05:00

I was slow to join the Facebook bandwagon. But now I'm completely addicted.

Here are the Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Facebook:

1. I can play Scrabulous with my friends
2. I can play Scramble, which I'm marginally better at, than Scrabulous
3. The twitter-like function called "Status update" is cool.
4. It's an easy way to share pictures with all my friends.
5. It's an accessible, online addressbook.
6. I've gotten in touch with friends I've thought long-lost.
7. It's pretty good for stalking (except the people who don't let me view their profile without actually being their friend!)
8. The advertisements are minimal and targeted, so sometimes actually of interest!
9. It's a great time-sink when I'm bored or just trying to kill time.
10. All the Groups are hilarious! My favorite one is Outside Hospital Fan Club.

My eyes haven't been this puffy in a long time

2008-07-04T11:47:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, my dog, really, our dog, died. :(

http://dogoftheday.com/archive/2006/August/22.html

His name was Britten and we've had him since I was in high school. I'm totally biased, but I think he's the CUTEST dog ever. and we've loved him for so long, he's become part of the family. Yesterday, he had a tragic accident, involving a fall from a 2nd floor balcony (long story) and we had to put him to sleep because he had massive internal bleeding.

My sister, who is more of an animal lover than I am, was close to hysterical on the phone. But after several hours of trying to decide what to do for Britten, I convinced everyone that his prognosis didn't sound good and that putting him to sleep was the best thing for him. In his last moments, he was in so much pain, he couldn't move or even lift his head. :(

I'm so incredibly sad, I don't even know how to express it. and for a second, I think, he was a dog... how am I going to survive my fellowship?

Random

2008-06-30T12:07:00.002-05:00

I just signed up to be a potential bone marrow donor. This was a long time coming. What finally put me to task was an email from my close friend, one of my bridesmaids, who has a friend from Berkeley who needs a transplant. I'm probably too late for her but I figured it was time. They made it so easy too! They mailed me a package and I swabbed my own cheeks, filled out the 4-page consent/questionnaire and that was it!

Unrelated... but since I have weddings on my mind. I tear up all the time looking at other people's wedding pictures or the worst, is videos!!
I just spent 30 minutes on this videographer's website, tearing up every time!
http://dvartistry.blogspot.com/

Someone's Wife

2008-06-22T18:40:00.002-05:00

I hope I never get "used" to this. But in the last few months, I have been surprised by people calling me So-and-so's "Wife."

A medical student came up to me and said "Hey, aren't you Armand's Wife??"
Well. No. Not wife yet. and I have a name. Hi, I'm Vivian.

and then a wedding invitation came in the mail addressed to:
"Dr. Armand Ryden and Vivian"
Uhh, seriously?!? Now I don't even have a last name? And shouldn't it be Drs.?!? ahem, ahem!

Products I Love

2008-06-21T12:11:00.003-05:00

Not to make this into an advertising blog but I wanted to share some products (mostly foods) that I really love. The first one is this wasabi mayo from Trader Joe's. I can't remember why I bought it the first time... I think I was looking for something else and this was the closest I could come. But this is now my second jar of it and I love it! It is great on sandwiches. It is also great on "beginners sushi." i.e. the one time I had lightly seared tuna with sesame oil, soy sauce, and wasabi mayo, covered with seaweed. yum.

It has a little kick of wasabi in it, and is great with any kind of sandwich, including tuna!

thoughts on women and the greatest city ever

2008-06-11T21:12:00.006-05:00

I am surrounded by a lot of people in my life who are on the Obama bandwagon. They are held captive by his charisma. His new idealistic appeal for Change. He might be able to be a good President but how do we know? He barely has a track record. He's been in the Senate less than the time I've lived in the southside of Chicago, and what improvements has he brought here? To the very place he calls home? None.

I voted for the tried and true, the experienced, the survivor, the amazing role model, the strong woman that I only hope to emulate. So yes, I'm disappointed and worried and sad that Hillary R. Clinton won't be the democratic candidate. This doesn't mean I'm voting Republican. But still. It's hard to vote Obama, after all of this.

I didn't get to see Hillary's speech live last weekend but I just read the transcript. And it is amazing. Here are my favorite parts:

"...when I was asked what it means to be a woman running for President, I always gave the same answer: that I was proud to be running as a woman but I was running because I thought I'd be the best President. But I am a woman, and like millions of women, I know there are still barriers and biases out there, often unconscious.

I want to build an America that respects and embraces the potential of every last one of us.

I ran as a daughter who benefited from opportunities my mother never dreamed of. I ran as a mother who worries about my daughter's future and a mother who wants to lead all children to brighter tomorrows. To build that future I see, we must make sure that women and men alike understand the struggles of their grandmothers and mothers, and that women enjoy equal opportunities, equal pay, and equal respect. Let us resolve and work toward achieving some very simple propositions: There are no acceptable limits and there are no acceptable prejudices in the twenty-first century.

You can be so proud that, from now on, it will be unremarkable for a woman to win primary state victories, unremarkable to have a woman in a close race to be our nominee, unremarkable to think that a woman can be the President of the United States. And that is truly remarkable.

To those who are disappointed that we couldn't go all the way- especially the young people who put so much into this campaign- it would break my heart if, in falling short of my goal, I in any way discouraged any of you from pursuing yours. Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply about what you believe in. When you stumble, keep faith. When you're knocked down, get right back up. And never listen to anyone who says you can't or shouldn't go on...

Although we weren't able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it's got about 18 million cracks in it. and the light is shining through like never before, filing us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time. That has always been the history of progress in America."

And I just have to add, on a totally unrelated note: GO LAKERS!

lots of music

2008-06-08T12:51:00.003-05:00

Went to two concerts this week... ingrid michaelson at park west and pinchas zukerman with the CSO.

both were wonderful in their own right. i really love ingrid michaelson's voice. anyone who knows me, knows that i'm really into female vocalists. there's something about the female voice. all my favorite groups/artists are women. jewel, alanis, the dixie chicks, sarah mclachlan, natalie merchant, etc. gosh, i feel old.

seeing pinchas was a blast. i grew up listening to his CDs and going to his concerts. our violin teachers would take us backstage and we'd get to meet all these famous violinists. i used to collect all of their autographs, which sadly, i think may have been tossed during my parents' big move.

Also this weekend, we all gathered at Twisted Spoke for Dan's birthday. Here he is trying to hide his new tattoo. something having to do with Scotland. It's cute because on a hot summer day like we had yesterday, there is just one little paw that sticks out from under his sleeve.

Currently, I'm trying to stop procrastinating and finish working on my morning report for Friday!

My First Cubs Game

2008-06-02T18:34:00.008-05:00

I went to my very first Cubs game last week. One thing to check off my list of Things To Do in Chicago Before I Leave.
It was Cubs vs the Rockies at Wrigley Field. It was awesome. The sky threatened to rain during the day but by the time the evening rolled around, it was a refreshing if a little chilly temperature, without a single rain drop.

It was a good game and it came pretty close, but in the end the Cubs pulled through and won. Armand was torn between rooting for the Cubs and the Rockies since he's from Colorado. :)

I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of baseball... and I don't drink beer, but I love nachos! and pretzels with mustard! and lemon ice in the summer. :)

Pregnant Residents

2008-05-31T07:48:00.002-05:00

I love babies. They truly are little miracles. and when a resident becomes pregnant, it's great. I think it's really important for women to continue to be in medicine and to have families and to balance their lives and to be great role-models for our daughters.

However. That doesn't mean I won't complain when I continue to get screwed over each time there's a pregnancy in the program.

This year, my free elective time was split up into two blocks because of a pregnancy, which made data collection difficult.

Next year (which is really starting in July), I ended up with 2 extra weeks of intensive care time because of a pregnancy, during the ONE WEEKEND that I needed off to attend a wedding.

Today, I got screwed for a third time. A co-resident asked to switch an ER shift because her parents are in town. I thought, why not? She'll pay me back at the end of the month. So originally I was supposed to work from 6pm-4am tonight. But then I get called that there is a pregnant resident who was just made bed-rest and could I please cover the 7a-7p shift, including trauma. Now, let me do the math for you... that shift is 2 hours longer and includes trauma, which I am actually not trained to do!

As if that's not bad enough, I showed up today at 7am and GRR, there must have been some miscommunication and I was actually supposed to work the 7p-7a, overnight shift! So now, I'm back home, pissed that I got up so early, can't go back to sleep because I just drank an entire liter of coffee, and I have to go back tonight at 7pm.

I know residents aren't really supposed to have LIVES and all, and I know we're supposed to be at the mercy of the program, but seriously? This is just too ridiculous.

every day i think about posting

2008-05-30T12:55:00.003-05:00

i can't believe it's almost june already. i survived a 5-week month at an affiliate hospital. it was rough... there were a couple deaths. and i attended by first-ever funeral for a patient post-call; talk about an emotional mess. it was a humbling experience. it made me realize that sometimes Life is just really really Not Fair. and no matter what we, as medical professionals, do to "save" lives, the human body is so fragile.

on to happier news... i matched at UCLA for my hematology/oncology fellowship! All that stress and anticipation and second-guessing has finally been resolved! when I first found out over the computer, I was shocked. In a weird happy but sad and disappointed but excited sort of way. I know it doesn't make any sense but that's pretty much how I felt. I was happy that I matched and sad that I'll be leaving Chicago. I was disappointed that I didn't get my first choice. But I was excited to be moving back to LA where my family is and where the weather is perfect all year round. now, about a month later, I'm mostly just EXCITED.

Things To Do in Chicago Before I Leave:
-go to a Cubs game (more on that later)
-go to the Taste of Chicago
-enjoy as many plays as possible, and especially go to something at the Shakepeare Theatre
-go to Ravinia this year

what else?!? I miss this city already!

Family Time

2008-05-03T13:41:00.003-05:00

So I've been back in town for a while already but I had such a great vacation... it already feels like too long ago. But I got to see all 5 of my cousins who live in the States.

And I got to see lil Jacklyn, my sort of "niece" (my 1st cousin's baby). She's actually not really a baby anymore but isn't she adorable? She's so funny and well-behaved! We were able to go out for dinner without any unnecessary drama! I remember exactly when she was born... I was in San Francisco, taking refuge from the rain in December, when I was there for a residency interview. and she's the first in the "new generation" of Chang cousins. :) Scary thought.

I also got a surprise visit from my other cousin Lawrence who's a senior at Boston College. He happened to be in town for a job interview, which he got! Yay for Raytheon.

So we had lots of family time. Got a lot done for the wedding: we met our DJ, we picked the bridesmaid dresses, my mom found her dress, we set up our registries, we picked our reception menu, and we had a mock-up of our centerpieces. Very productive.

For fun, we visited the Hollywood Cemetery where lots of old movie stars are laid to rest. Armand and Kyle got attacked by geese. They were really aggressive, and hence, this sign.

Back in Chicago and Two New Restaurants

2008-04-25T22:37:00.002-05:00

I'm back in the Windy City. Started a new rotation. Submitted my rank list for fellowships. My apartment's a mess. and my fridge is empty.

But I want to tell you about two restaurants I tried in the past week.

Mado. Wicker Park. You can find my friend's review of it here. It's a brand new place that focuses on local produce, organic stuff, etc. The atmosphere is very clean and simple. The menu tries to be but is actually sort of confusing, at first. I had a hard time deciding on what I wanted, which can be a great sign, but in this case, I think the options were a little limiting. I ended up with two smallish plates of a tortellini broth and poached tuna. I enjoyed the meal but didn't think it was all that remarkable. The desserts, however, are fantastic. Really worth it.

Sticky Rice. Way up northwest somewhere. I have been wanting to try this place forEVER. I first heard about it as a place with great Thai food that also has DURIEN... you know, that stinky fruit that is actually banned from the subway in Thailand? The one that smells like rotting garbage but is supposed to be oh so good? Yea... I didn't have the courage to order it but I smelled something really bad during our dinner... not sure if it was from something we ordered or something someone else at another table ordered, but it was not pleasant. I had a ground pork dish that was okay but again, not that remarkable. The sticky rice was a little awkward and too sticky. Not sure that's how it's supposed to be?!? We didn't even have a chance to try their desserts because our bill was brought before we were given the option. So overall, I was really disappointed and definitely won't go back.

But I'm glad I got to try both. I want to taste Starfruit some time soon... Pinkberry-wannabe?

hello from sunny california

2008-04-15T01:31:00.003-05:00

i'm enjoying my second two-week vacation of second year. it's been great until i came down this cold. argh. all those nights in the peds ER finally caught up with me.

we've had it really tough... all these tastings for the wedding. we went to three different bakeries to try cream puffs. this first picture is from Michel Richard in Beverly Hills and is our favorite. The flavors were vanilla and chocolate.

The second picture is from Aux Delice in Pasadena. The filling was a lot lighter and more whipped-cream like, than custard. But oh so delicious. Our dilemma is price over taste?

Retroactive Post

2008-03-29T18:22:00.006-05:00

As promised, I got my camera mailed back to me so here's another post about my fun and busy visit to the Bay Area in February. Fun because I got to spend time with an old friend from med school/internship, and busy because I had two interviews.

We went on a day-trip to Santa Cruz through a local community college for a "wine tour." We visited three wineries, had lots of wine, and port salut. Oh my. Port salut is my new favorite cheese. I'm currently on a hunt for it in Chicago.

Today, I got home from working in the peds ER at 2am, went straight to bed, and woke up just in time for our PICU team off-service brunch at The Bongo Room. It was so nice to see the team outside the hospital, outside of that stressful, hair-raising experience, at a nice sunny place in the South Loop for one of the best brunches in Chicago. I had the BLT benedict, and luckily for us the kitchen made a mistake and our waitress brought us chocolate-carrot pancakes that tasted just like carrot cake. MMM. We devoured that, in addition to what we ordered in minutes.

I rented Atonement for tonight! and tomorrow, I'm moonlighting in the NICU! Can't wait for the extra cash... that I already spent!

I survived

2008-03-28T10:30:00.003-05:00

Thank goodness my ICU month is OVER. Looking back, it was a great learning experience and I had a great team and I think I was pretty lucky in not breaking any admission records or anything. The most I admitted was 8 in one night. The most sleep I got was like... 2 hrs. The average sleep? Probably more like 5 mins since there were many sleepless nights. That's the thing that was the hardest... The sick patients, they were interesting. The NO SLEEPING for 30 hours thing? Not fun. at all. It was worse than any month as an intern.

Moving on... Last night was Phil's birthday. He's an old man. Lis made a wonderful chocolate cake with the best frosting I've had in a long time. YUM.

Tears

2008-03-19T13:05:00.003-05:00

I've been meaning to write but this month is wearing me down.

In pediatrics, we don't see that many deaths. Or at least compared to our adult-counterparts in internal medicine. But a couple weeks ago, I had a baby that died. The horrible part was the way it happened. There was a pediatric code called in the adult ER (which usually means something bad). I was on call that day so I had to stay in the unit, but many of my colleagues went and found a baby that was in full cardiopulmonary arrest, i.e. not breathing and with no heartbeat. To make a long story with too much drama short, the baby was brought to the unit and died.

I had admitted that same baby to the unit not even a full week prior. I had done a full sepsis work up, including a spinal tap that I myself did, before transferring the baby to another team, where the baby was discharged home. In good health.

So how is it that this same baby shows up to the ER, dead?

It's something that I've been thinking about daily since it happened. As I watched the other doctors doing CPR and then declaring that it was futile and pronouncing the death, I cried because it just wasn't supposed to happen that way. Kids, and especially little babies, aren't supposed to die. What did I miss... what did I do wrong... what could I have done to prevent this. How could this baby have been seen by multiple doctors, discharged home, and then die less than a week later?

I don't have any of those answers. I think I've come to a place in my mind and heart that we didn't miss anything. The baby just got really sick again at home and babies are fragile. But it's still hard to walk away.

That same day when I was on call, one of our cancer patients died. And it reminded me of why I like oncology and why I hate working in the intensive care unit... at least in oncology, most patients have a chance to fight. This baby didn't have a chance. She just showed up already dead. One day fine, and the next day, not. That's a lot harder to accept than the death of someone who's been fighting for a long time and for whom we've tried everything.

On that depressing note...

Visit to the Bay Area, Part I

2008-03-07T17:05:00.003-06:00

A couple weeks ago, I made my first visit to the Bay Area for my interviews. I heart California... One program I loved; one program I hated. But I had a great weekend with my med school/internship friend. We went to the Ferry Building and enjoyed the weekend farmers' market. I found olallieberry jam which is a favorite of Davey, my displaced California friend who lives in Chicago, so I bought him a little jar. Which got taken away from me as I went through security at the Oakland Airport on the way back. Apparently, olallieberry jam is considered a "gel."

I was so PISSED. Not to mention, Southwest canceled my flight and I got rerouted to Las Vegas. I didn't land in Chicago until 2am. and then Armand went to the WRONG airport to try and pick me up so I ended up taking a cab home anyway. Sigh.

On another depressing note, I'm currently in the pediatric intensive care unit. It's slowly killing me. I didn't even have the energy to count up how many hours I've been working per week. I have just a little over 2 weeks left and I don't know how I'm going to survive.

I left my camera behind at my friend's house in the bay area so I'll post again when I get it back... we went on a Santa Cruz winery tour, which was fun!

on the interview trail... AGAIN

2008-02-14T22:51:00.002-06:00

I'm back in the same monkeysuit that i wore for residency interviews... I'm interviewing at 8 different programs, all either in California, Colorado, or Illinois. So far, I've interviewed at 5 places. I've already ruled out one that I'm not going to rank at all. I have three left and I can't wait for it to be over. I have two more trips to the Bay Area.

Last week while I was in Denver, I had a REALLY embarassing moment. Armand's parents had invited many of their friends over for dinner. Right before dinner was about to be served, I felt this overwhelming sensation of nausea. I rushed to the bathroom, and felt like throwing up but didn't... so I join the party again and then start getting really dizzy and light-headed. I had just enough time to tell Armand's mom that I wasn't feeling so well, before I turned around, banged my head on the pantry door and crashed to the floor. I totally blacked out. All I remember is waking up, completely on the floor, hearing Armand's dad call 911, and people asking me if I was in pain anywhere.

My hands were really tingly and I was hyperventilating. They got me up to the couch and I felt much better by the time EMS arrived. But they checked all my vitals and found me to be orthostatic. Which basically means my blood pressure dropped when I stood up. I was totally dehydrated and with the altitude, and the heat in the room from all the cooking, I think I totally had a vasovagal reaction. Mortifying.

Luckily, I was fine and the dinner party went on and we enjoyed the most amazing cuban pork that Armand's dad had prepared. YUMMM. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Moral of the story: drink lots of water!

deja vu

2008-02-13T10:05:00.006-06:00

i can't believe that it's already MID-February! It's been incredibly busy... i don't even know where to start!

our visit to Charlie Trotter's to celebrate our 4th yr anniversary:
so the only way we could afford this was because my dear friend from HS gave us a generous gift certificate for our engagement present. i was still shocked at the bill but it was WORTH it. we had an 8-course meal from the Grand Menu. It started with marinated ahi tuna with grapefruit and parsley. This was one of my favorite appetizers, since I love tuna. The next dish was scallop tempura with nori dust and pickled daikon. The scallops were great, but the nori dust and pickled daikon was well... too pickled tasting. Armand really liked this dish. Then we had the trout with mustard seed, trout roe, and spinach. This was the first entree and it was perfection. But the next entree was my absolute favorite of the night. It was the roasted squab with hazelnut, pearl onion, and cocoa nibs. Even though it sounds weird with the chocolate, it was a non-sweet dark chocolate that was really savory and went well with the squab. The last entree I didn't like as much. It was lamb prepared in three different ways. The desserts were phenomenol- we had buttermilk with white pepper, toasted milk ice cream and nutmeg, venezuelan chocolate baba with sherry and spicy iberico chorizo (very interesting combination), and the nigorizake sorbet with pear and jasmine rice (my least favorite because the alcohol component was quite strong and reminded me of a dish we had in France that I also didn't like).

So... that was an amazing night. We drove out in a snowstorm, but had impeccable service. We had a tour of the kitchen afterward and took this awkward picture with an innocent chef.

I'll have to post more later about my interview trail!

a golden weekend

2008-01-27T20:52:00.000-06:00

Thursday night I had the worst call ever. I literally spent 8 hours dealing with a patient who became suicidal and trying to get this medically-complex patient transferred to a psychiatric hospital, better-equipped to handle him than we were. It was one of the most frustrating experiences of my residency.

Luckily, this was my golden weekend. (meaning that I got two days off in a ROW!) woohoo.

Friday night, we went to Quartino for Armand's off-service dinner. They have the best gnocchi!

Saturday morning, we went to a baby shower brunch for a co-resident and his wife. Here I am examining a warm and fuzzy "bundleme."

We had fruit, bagels and lox, and a wonderful egg/potato frittata, accompanied by mimosas. Dance Dance Revolution had just been whipped out when we had to leave early to go see the Maps exhibit at the Field Museum.

It was the second-to-last day and totally sold-out. We paid extra to get the audio tour, which was well worth it. Museum Campus has one of the best views in the city:

Then Saturday evening, we attended the Third Annual Robert Burns night at Matt's place! With haggis and whiskey. I got embarassed this year and didn't read my favorite poem "Cock Up Your Beaver" but maybe next year...

Sunday was spent doing laundry and dishes and addressing our save-the-date magnets!